All of us have been there and I think you're very blessed to have been able to play since you were a teen.
Don't let it go, it's a great game and it can open doors to business and other successful people.
1. I'd take a break until the itch to hit balls come back, you'll be more relaxed.
2. Most coaches are crap... they really are. Every human is unique, people have their own tendencies and quirkiness.
If a coach just wants to give you a textbook swing , run.
Quick fix for a flaw, run.
Doesn't give you the absolute basic foundation, run.
GIve you what you want? Not what you need, run.
Unfortunately I can't help you look for a coach, but if you don't give up and you keep interviewing and doing intro lessons that's free with teachers, you'll end up finding the right one for you.
So don't give up, you'll regret it.
PS: 40yo is not old. Unless you don't take care of your diet and physical body of course... LOL