par three course with girlfriend

[ChristopherMcDonald]

Hey Guys,

 

Let me start off by saying I love my girlfriend, and I want to find more ways to spend time with her doing something we both enjoy. She has expressed interest in golf and has requested to go out to the par 3 course several times. So on occasion, when she requests, she will join me.

 

We went out this last Saturday and something happened that I wanted to get some opinions on.

 

She goes up to the first hole, I select a club (she still uses mine for the most part) and she puts it about 7 feet from the hole. Rolls it in like a true pro for her first birdie ever. 4 holes later, she gets her first sandy save with a clutch 15 foot breaker.

 

On basically ever other hole, she would just goof off and swing really poorly just hacking away at the ground, taking comically large divots, etc etc. When she actually TRIED, she made good shots and actually showed some real potential.

 

Now, how do i go about suggesting she just do what she did when she scored well, without making her totally turn away from the game and think I am being a tyrant? She has not responded super well to pointers while on the range, so i know it's going to be a touchy subject regardless.

 

I don't want her to think I am restricting her fun or anything like that; i just saw some potential for this to be something we can enjoy doing together if she just didn't purposefully happy gilmore swing at everything.

 

I would love to get her to a place where she would be comfortable playing an 18 hole course with me.

 

Am I being selfish for wanting her to treat the game with some level of respect so that she can get out there with me on a real course? Should I just enjoy it for what it is?

 

Hope I don't come off too much like a jerk, just wanting to spend some expanded time with her and thought she may actually have a little knack for golf.

[Jkellender]

How cool is that?! already has a natural birdie and a sand save? Good for her. If it were me I would take it as it is. I would treat her like I would treat a child (not in a disrespectuful way), I mean, if she wants to go to the par 3, let her have fun, but I wouldn't "push" her to get better or take the game seriously.

But hey, maybe she will see how gratifying the game can be and maybe she will want to take the game more seriously, you never know.

My wife has came with me to the driving range a couple times, but mostly to watch, take a couple swings for fun. I've halfway attempted to show her how to make a proper stance/swing/grip and quickly realized that golf was just one thing we won't get to enjoy together, eesh. But I love her and I love golf, we just don't enjoy it together.

[benden]

Don't ever, ever mention the words.....Jimmy Choos!! And if SHE ever mentions those same words, run away!!!

[ChristopherMcDonald]

[quote name='Jkellender' timestamp='1428960244' post='11350705']
How cool is that?! already has a natural birdie and a sand save? Good for her. If it were me I would take it as it is. I would treat her like I would treat a child (not in a disrespectuful way), I mean, if she wants to go to the par 3, let her have fun, but I wouldn't "push" her to get better or take the game seriously.

But hey, maybe she will see how gratifying the game can be and maybe she will want to take the game more seriously, you never know.

My wife has came with me to the driving range a couple times, but mostly to watch, take a couple swings for fun. I've halfway attempted to show her how to make a proper stance/swing/grip and quickly realized that golf was just one thing we won't get to enjoy together, eesh. But I love her and I love golf, we just don't enjoy it together.
[/quote]

Yeah I was so proud of her i think i yelled louder than she did when she drained those two putts. So so happy for her.

I think you're right about treating her like a child in the sense of letting her kind of discover it for herself.

I think because I was shown the game so early and ignored it that it messes with me a bit. Almost like I feel she's wasting valuable golf time or something? I was shown really early about Golf and blew it off entirely for years, but now it's my favorite thing in the world, and I want to share that with her and keep her from the same "mistakes" that I made, if that makes sense.

[HoffTTM]

Children and significant others often respond better to outsiders than they do to people familiar to them. Question is how do you get her to have a lesson with a pro?

[ChristopherMcDonald]

[quote name='HoffTTM' timestamp='1428961259' post='11350809']
Children and significant others often respond better to outsiders than they do to people familiar to them. Question is how do you get her to have a lesson with a pro?
[/quote]

That is the question. I have a few friends whom are pros who would most likely be able to help a lot. She doesn't know even basic golf knowledge like grip/setup etc, so I would kind of like her to get at least those down before I suggest pro lessons, or is that the best place to start?

I feel like pro lessons would scare her off, shoot they even make me nervous.

[Medic]

Without knowing the full backstory on how long you've been a couple, how close you are, and where things are going hard to give solid advice. But my advice, based on my wife's reaction to golf, is simple; she took it far more seriously when she got her own sticks.

Buy her a good used set as a (birthday, anniversary, Memorial day, early Christmas) gift.

The quality time you will be able to spend with her is priceless. My wife doesn't like (what she calls) "regular" courses. But she really loves going out to the local exec courses. And she does the fist pump now when she pulls a good shot off!

[ChristopherMcDonald]

[quote name='Medic' timestamp='1428961659' post='11350851']
Without knowing the full backstory on how long you've been a couple, how close you are, and where things are going hard to give solid advice. But my advice, based on my wife's reaction to golf, is simple; she took it far more seriously when she got her own sticks.

Buy her a good used set as a (birthday, anniversary, Memorial day, early Christmas) gift.

The quality time you will be able to spend with her is priceless. My wife doesn't like (what she calls) "regular" courses. But she really loves going out to the local exec courses. And she does the fist pump now when she pulls a good shot off!
[/quote]

Known each other for about a decade now and our two year anniversary is in two weeks. I will likely heed your advice, as you bring up an interesting point. She was forced to use my putter this time and not her own (an old white hot #1). We recently got her into my old car and I bought a new one and must have forgotten to move it into the new car.. She was NOT happy (until she made the birdie of course) but kind of drives your point home a bit if you see what i mean.

[Soloman1]

Women don't respond well to full-frontal assaults. They respond better to SHOPPING!
Why not take her to a PGA Superstore and introduce her to the world of women's golf clothes and accessories?

[ChristopherMcDonald]

[quote name='Soloman1' timestamp='1428962163' post='11350907']
Women don't respond well to full-frontal assaults. They respond better to SHOPPING!
Why not take her to a PGA Superstore and introduce her to the world of women's golf clothes and accessories?
[/quote]


mmmm that's another good point, maybe a little shopping spree would put her in the right spirit. Putting her in a skort might be the end of the road for me though, already said she'd beat me down before she'd wear one of those haha

[dadonkey]

[quote name='ChristopherMcDonald' timestamp='1428962275' post='11350919']
[quote name='Soloman1' timestamp='1428962163' post='11350907']
Women don't respond well to full-frontal assaults. They respond better to SHOPPING!
Why not take her to a PGA Superstore and introduce her to the world of women's golf clothes and accessories?
[/quote]


mmmm that's another good point, maybe a little shopping spree would put her in the right spirit. Putting her in a skort might be the end of the road for me though, already said she'd beat me down before she'd wear one of those haha
[/quote]

I just recently purchased my girlfriend a full set of clubs (pink, of course). She loves to go with me. Although, she is EXTREMELY competitive by nature (played plenty of high school sports). She hasn't given up. She has a decent swing and can hit some very good shots. Coming from experience, the best thing to do is to not give a whole lot of swing advice. Go with her to get a lesson, then after the lesson you can implement what someone else has already told her.

[CenCalGolfer]

My fiancé wanted me to get her clubs, so a couple Christmas's ago I bought her a Pink box set, nothing fancy, or too expensive. Got her pink golf balls, tees and bought her some Nike golf shoes as well. We went to hit balls a few times, and knowing her non-sport past, she did dance and cheerleading growing up, but nothing sports related pre say. She got really competitive, and was getting a lil frustrated when she wouldn't hit it well. Would focus on lil things I would give her, me being the coach I am, didn't push too much, but just gave her little things. When she would have success at those lil things, she would try to repeat them. So, once she was confident in playing, we played a couple times on a Par 3 course, and things started off a lil rocky, but on the 5th hole, she hit one to about 20 feet, then I hit mine to about 6 feet. She walks up to it, lines her putter up, no practice putts, bottom of the cup. She got all excited about it and was on cloud nine. Then the next hole she hacks it around and 4 putts. So, she got both ends of the spectrum, but a hole later puts it in a bunker, and hits it to a foot, and I was walking her through it, and she didn't believe be about hitting behind the ball, but did I think on accident and then taps in for a sandy par. So a few weeks later, she and I went and walked a full 9. Her experience was a little different, course was obviously longer, but she was having a good time, which at that point was all that matters. She is pregnant now, but has said that she wants to golf again, and would love to get our son into the game if he wants, when he gets old enough. So I am looking forward to it all. She gets it and understand that I enjoy the game, and actually let me spend $1600 on fitted Nike VPC set and Nike Vapor Speed driver.

[Qqq123xx]

[quote name='HoffTTM' timestamp='1428961259' post='11350809']
Children and significant others often respond better to outsiders than they do to people familiar to them. Question is how do you get her to have a lesson with a pro?
[/quote] Maybe a group lesson would work. No individual pressure.

[llewol007]

Sounds like she might not be that much into golf. If you want to spend some expanded time with her go to a spa and get a massage so at least you get something out of it. One thing you dont want to do if she is not self motivated is make her feel like she needs to take up the game. If she is comfortable enough with 9 holes, I would stick with that. Throw in timely ideas of possibly playing 18 holes in the future and see how she reacts. Now if she doesnt take, dont take it as the end of the world and find another activity that you both can do. Now if she is up for 18 holes, there ya go. You want to probably make sure this is a constant thing before picking up a set of clubs unless you run across something good on BST for a great price.

[mumbles236]

With my girlfriend having her go to a group lesson with my best friend's wife who is also just starting to learn was a big help. It made her want to get better so we can all take a trip somewhere together and the girls can golf with us one day and do their spa stuff the other days. Its gotten her pretty motivated to get better and she's asking to go to the range or little executive course with me all the time now.

[crich88848]

My wife doesn't golf, doesn't want to golf, and honestly gets sick of hearing me talk about golf. The golf course is my domain. I keep that for my self and my sons. I find other things to do with the wife. I would say that we all know what happens when we push our wives or try to give them advice, for the most part. You don't want to take the fun out of it for her. Probably don't want her to enjoy it too much either, lol. Next thing you know she wants to tag along every time. Yikes.

[ckay]

I think you should just let her enjoy the game the way she wants to. Even if it means that she goofs around 8 out of 9 holes.

[ChristopherMcDonald]

[quote name='llewol007' timestamp='1429034982' post='11357547']
Sounds like she might not be that much into golf. If you want to spend some expanded time with her go to a spa and get a massage so at least you get something out of it. One thing you dont want to do if she is not self motivated is make her feel like she needs to take up the game. If she is comfortable enough with 9 holes, I would stick with that. Throw in timely ideas of possibly playing 18 holes in the future and see how she reacts. Now if she doesnt take, dont take it as the end of the world and find another activity that you both can do. Now if she is up for 18 holes, there ya go. You want to probably make sure this is a constant thing before picking up a set of clubs unless you run across something good on BST for a great price.
[/quote]

Yeah I never force it on her so i know she has some interest, always wants to go back. Maybe i need to just give it some time. [quote name='mumbles236' timestamp='1429035901' post='11357669']
With my girlfriend having her go to a group lesson with my best friend's wife who is also just starting to learn was a big help. It made her want to get better so we can all take a trip somewhere together and the girls can golf with us one day and do their spa stuff the other days. Its gotten her pretty motivated to get better and she's asking to go to the range or little executive course with me all the time now.
[/quote]

Damn this is a good idea, i wish i had more friends who played golf that had significant others interested. [quote name='crich88848' timestamp='1429036113' post='11357723']
My wife doesn't golf, doesn't want to golf, and honestly gets sick of hearing me talk about golf. The golf course is my domain. I keep that for my self and my sons. I find other things to do with the wife. I would say that we all know what happens when we push our wives or try to give them advice, for the most part. You don't want to take the fun out of it for her. Probably don't want her to enjoy it too much either, lol. Next thing you know she wants to tag along every time. Yikes.
[/quote]

I know what you're saying. I would love for her to enjoy it as much as me and joined me for every round, we don't have a ton in common as far as extracurricular activities so that would be a good starting point.

[quote name='ckay' timestamp='1429037274' post='11357889']
I think you should just let her enjoy the game the way she wants to. Even if it means that she goofs around 8 out of 9 holes.
[/quote]

Solid advice, i think i will let it just run its course and let her choose the pace.

[Halebopp]

I was about to post about taking her out to do some shopping. They usually react well to that. Group lessons are another good idea, or maybe lessons for you two? I don't know how good you are but most golfers have things to work on and maybe it would ease her mind that even you are a work in process? There would be less stress on her to become a good golfer overnight. Plus giving advice in the future might be easier "do you remember what the pro said?" or you could ask her to look at your swing and if she remembers what the pro told you to do. The point being the introduction of the whole idea of giving advice to others (which of course means you could help her out).

Only speculating here though. Good luck!

[hammy83]

Here's how I think about it. There is always those people at the course that just annoy the crap out of you. Golf with them enough and the chances you find something about them that irritates the living crap out of you is relatively high. My fiancée and I can easily find something to disagree upon so for that... we dont golf together.

[Playaway]

[quote name='ChristopherMcDonald' timestamp='1428959874' post='11350669']
Hey Guys,

Let me start off by saying I love my girlfriend, and I want to find more ways to spend time with her doing something we both enjoy. She has expressed interest in golf and has requested to go out to the par 3 course several times. So on occasion, when she requests, she will join me.

We went out this last Saturday and something happened that I wanted to get some opinions on.

She goes up to the first hole, I select a club (she still uses mine for the most part) and she puts it about 7 feet from the hole. Rolls it in like a true pro for her first birdie ever. 4 holes later, she gets her first sandy save with a clutch 15 foot breaker.

On basically ever other hole, she would just goof off and swing really poorly just hacking away at the ground, taking comically large divots, etc etc. When she actually TRIED, she made good shots and actually showed some real potential.

Now, how do i go about suggesting she just do what she did when she scored well, without making her totally turn away from the game and think I am being a tyrant? She has not responded super well to pointers while on the range, so i know it's going to be a touchy subject regardless.

I don't want her to think I am restricting her fun or anything like that; i just saw some potential for this to be something we can enjoy doing together if she just didn't purposefully happy gilmore swing at everything.

I would love to get her to a place where she would be comfortable playing an 18 hole course with me.

Am I being selfish for wanting her to treat the game with some level of respect so that she can get out there with me on a real course? Should I just enjoy it for what it is?

Hope I don't come off too much like a jerk, just wanting to spend some expanded time with her and thought she may actually have a little knack for golf.
[/quote]

Ask her if she wants to go to the range with you. If she does go through that with her. I wouldn't offer any instruction unless she asks for it. And if she does, only positives about her swing and no negatives, period.

A woman's golf swing is like her butt; even thought it might not be exactly like JLO, it is "perfect". Got it? No negatives.

[Txstcatman]

Where I work, one of the models we use is the Positive Behavior System. Frankly I think it's not useful at times (when a student has already learned a behavior that gets them intended results), but for many it works great.

Basically, praise the good, ignore the bad, and at the end of the activity (a round at the Par 3 or range) reinforce your positivity about the good shots. Mention a specific one too, like "Wow, babe, that shot you hit on 3 was amazing! Or I really like how you lined up your putt. Then make a game out of the rounds, such as lowest putt total gets a prize. Make her earn the affirmations, but at the same time offer something like you cook dinner and clean, or foot the bill for a night out if she wins. Incentives go a long way, for kids and adults.

[markheardjr]

Built a set for my wife. She played with me once with my jr. set back at my parents house in Ohio. She had a bogey, lost interest after about 11 holes. And in Ohio 11 holes is like 2hrs max. But I built her a set and we played here in Cali maybe 3 times now. She loses interest here after about 7 holes, which is probably the same 2 hours. But, maybe once every 18 months she'll say "lets go play golf." So we dust off her sticks and find a non-busy course in the afternoon. If we can't get on a par 3, we'll play a full course and do as follows...
Par 5's - She tees off from 200y marker
Par 4's She tees off from 150y marker
Par 3's She tees off from ladies tees, unless it's over 150y, which we then find something like 100y out if we can.

This means she takes less swings. her shots are generally closer to the green and after my drive & approach we are near each other. She can blister her driver once in a while over 200y, some 220y with roll. So she's had a few eagle & birdie putts and I treat them as if they were legit from the tee box start. It's fun. That's all I want it to be.

Funny thing is she's my good luck charm. Apparently some primal instinct kicks in and I unleash the hidden golfer inside me. Last time we played I was -4 through 11 holes (my birthday.) and we had to quit when the sun set. Dang twilight round. Felt I had a good 2 or 3 more birdies on the back too.

[ChristopherMcDonald]

[quote name='markheardjr' timestamp='1429203844' post='11374117']
Built a set for my wife. She played with me once with my jr. set back at my parents house in Ohio. She had a bogey, lost interest after about 11 holes. And in Ohio 11 holes is like 2hrs max. But I built her a set and we played here in Cali maybe 3 times now. She loses interest here after about 7 holes, which is probably the same 2 hours. But, maybe once every 18 months she'll say "lets go play golf." So we dust off her sticks and find a non-busy course in the afternoon. If we can't get on a par 3, we'll play a full course and do as follows...
Par 5's - She tees off from 200y marker
Par 4's She tees off from 150y marker
Par 3's She tees off from ladies tees, unless it's over 150y, which we then find something like 100y out if we can.

This means she takes less swings. her shots are generally closer to the green and after my drive & approach we are near each other. She can blister her driver once in a while over 200y, some 220y with roll. So she's had a few eagle & birdie putts and I treat them as if they were legit from the tee box start. It's fun. That's all I want it to be.

Funny thing is she's my good luck charm. Apparently some primal instinct kicks in and I unleash the hidden golfer inside me. Last time we played I was -4 through 11 holes (my birthday.) and we had to quit when the sun set. Dang twilight round. Felt I had a good 2 or 3 more birdies on the back too.
[/quote]

Haha i'm the opposite, i shut down when she's around and play like garbage lol.

What local courses you play? I'm from your neck of the woods-ish

[Kaysquare]

To all you guys who innocently buy your wife or girlfriend pink clubs, balls, accessories.......you DO know that if/when they actually get pretty decent at golf, they will throw all that pink stuff in the garbage don't you???

[etakmit]

My wife never wanted pink anything. Turquoise? Sure. Her current Adams are solid black. She hates pink stuff (except the golf balls - thats ok)

[sprcoop]

I know how to get her to be serious. Let her get a stroke or 2 ahead of you and start thinking she might win a round.

28 years ago the wife and I took some county group lessons together and then started playing a very short PAR 3 course. Cindy could actually play when she wanted to. Not long, but was accurate with a very simple swing with a shut club face at the top that always found the middle. She liked to play well but did not like concentrating... until I have a couple of bad holes up front and she has a couple good holes, got a couple strokes on me and looked like she might beat me.

Then she would become Jack Freakin' Nicklaus! Lining up her shots and doing all the things I had told her would make her better that were too much trouble before, except now she might win.

A couple times I had to minimum PAR the last 5 holes or so to come out on top. Luckily this was a course that I could shoot -2 on a regular basis. Longest hole was 135. I wasn't going to give it away.

[lumberman2462]

If you want to keep you relationship healthy then I'd strongly suggest that you purchase her a package of golf lessons from a real live teaching pro and let [i][b][u]him/her[/u][/b][/i] give her the basic pointers of golf.

Then you guys can just enjoy going out and playing golf occasionally rather than it becoming you giving pointers to your girlfriend who will inevitably come to resent you being a know-it-all/critical/[i]whatever[/i] negative influence can be dreamed up by her.

Just my thoughts.

Oh, if she likes pink stuff then by all means buy her some nice pink golf stuff.

[Forged4ever]

[quote name='HoffTTM' timestamp='1428961259' post='11350809']
Children and significant others often respond better to outsiders than they do to people familiar to them. Question is how do you get her to have a lesson with a pro?
[/quote]THIS!!
[quote name='lumberman2462' timestamp='1429219337' post='11375951']
If you want to keep you relationship healthy then I'd strongly suggest that you purchase her a package of golf lessons from a real live teaching pro and let [i][b][u]him/her[/u][/b][/i] give her the basic pointers of golf.

Then you guys can just enjoy going out and playing golf occasionally rather than it becoming you giving pointers to your girlfriend who will inevitably come to resent you being a know-it-all/critical/[i]whatever[/i] negative influence can be dreamed up by her.

Just my thoughts.

Oh, if she likes pink stuff then by all means by her some nice pink golf stuff.
[/quote]And THIS!!!

First Christopher, let me say that I have a lot of respect for you from the way that you conduct yourself on the board so I don't see you intentionally acting like a "jerk," lol.

I also do not know you cap, though that really is irrelevant, because your GF should only be taught by a legitimate Teacher/Pro.

As my GF is one such individual(Class A-M), #1, there's nothing that I can tell/teach her(though she did have me work with her on her putting, lol), and #2, I watch her teach other Women/Girls(she has about 70/30 Females) and the worst is when the idiot other half tries to hang around to "observe." Madison will very nicely ask them to please GTH away from them, lol.

I find it hilarious when a chop is standing there trying to teach this poor GF, and he's like, "No, No, NO! It's like this...," LMAO, and he doesn't actually hit a ball cuz well, ya know how that's gonna go, though he just takes practice swings, and she stands there staring with this blank look on her face.

Lumber hit it regarding giving her pointers, regardless of the intent, validity or tone of said pointers.

And Bro, if you want some pink accoutrements, I can do a bag, covers, you name it, and I've probably bought it, lol.

I can do masculine or Lady things

The Best to You and Your GF

All the Best,
Richard

[ChristopherMcDonald]

[quote name='Forged4ever' timestamp='1429221332' post='11376151']
[quote name='HoffTTM' timestamp='1428961259' post='11350809']
Children and significant others often respond better to outsiders than they do to people familiar to them. Question is how do you get her to have a lesson with a pro?
[/quote]THIS!!
[quote name='lumberman2462' timestamp='1429219337' post='11375951']
If you want to keep you relationship healthy then I'd strongly suggest that you purchase her a package of golf lessons from a real live teaching pro and let [i][b][u]him/her[/u][/b][/i] give her the basic pointers of golf.

Then you guys can just enjoy going out and playing golf occasionally rather than it becoming you giving pointers to your girlfriend who will inevitably come to resent you being a know-it-all/critical/[i]whatever[/i] negative influence can be dreamed up by her.

Just my thoughts.

Oh, if she likes pink stuff then by all means by her some nice pink golf stuff.
[/quote]And THIS!!!

First Christopher, let me say that I have a lot of respect for you from the way that you conduct yourself on the board so I don't see you intentionally acting like a "jerk," lol.

I also do not know you cap, though that really is irrelevant, because your GF should only be taught by a legitimate Teacher/Pro.

As my GF is one such individual(Class A-M), #1, there's nothing that I can tell/teach her(though she did have me work with her on her putting, lol), and #2, I watch her teach other Women/Girls(she has about 70/30 Females) and the worst is when the idiot other half tries to hang around to "observe." Madison will very nicely ask them to please GTH away from them, lol.

I find it hilarious when a chop is standing there trying to teach this poor GF, and he's like, "No, No, NO! It's like this...," LMAO, and he doesn't actually hit a ball cuz well, ya know how that's gonna go, though he just takes practice swings, and she stands there staring with this blank look on her face.

Lumber hit it regarding giving her pointers, regardless of the intent, validity or tone of said pointers.

And Bro, if you want some pink accoutrements, I can do a bag, covers, you name it, and I've probably bought it, lol.

I can do masculine or Lady things

The Best to You and Your GF

All the Best,
Richard
[/quote]

haha thanks Richard always great to hear from you.


To everyone: Thanks a million for your responses here, I have taken all comments to heart and feel that it'll help me with my ole lady golfing with me, when she wants.