Cat has kidney failure; words of encouragement needed

[ChristopherMcDonald]

Hey guys,

 

Kind of a heavy topic. My cat went to the vet today with my girlfriend and we found out she is past stage 5 kidney failure. Basically there's nothing we can do. She has had our cat, Lola, since she was a kitten, so it is especially hard on her. I have shed tears already about it, as this cat acts more like a dog than anything, and I have spent the last two years of my life with her constantly by my side.

 

Watching her deteriorate like this is extremely disheartening. Quality of life comes to mind, but she still interacts with us and we have tried everything possible for her to eat like liquid food and some pediolyte to get electrolytes in her to make her as comfortable as possible.

 

I know that if it comes to it, I will have to be the one who takes her to her last doctor visit.

 

How do I deal with that?

 

I'm struggling to find the ability to be the strong one and be there as a pillar to lean on for my girlfriend. All wishes, comments, and stories are very appreciated.

 

Thanks for reading

[One_Putt_Blunder]

Sorry man, while I am not a cat person, we found out our dog is in the early stages of liver failure, right after he got better from a nasty tick fever. Unfortunately the wrong care/meds from the first vet is the likely cause of the liver probs. We did catch it early so hoping there is a chance. To get back on topic my GF and I both love the pup very much and she is a do everything possible person, but I am the one that will have to be strong and force the call If there is nothing that can be done. I would rather see him go out as happy as possible and not suffer.

There is no good advice other than do what you think is right and in the best interest of your pet.

Best of luck to you two it really really sucks

[ChristopherMcDonald]

[quote name='One_Putt_Blunder' timestamp='1429933575' post='11437603']
Sorry man, while I am not a cat person, we found out our dog is in the early stages of liver failure, right after he got better from a nasty tick fever. Unfortunately the wrong care/meds from the first vet is the likely cause of the liver probs. We did catch it early so hoping there is a chance. To get back on topic my GF and I both love the pup very much and she is a do everything possible person, but I am the one that will have to be strong and force the call If there is nothing that can be done. I would rather see him go out as happy as possible and not suffer.

There is no good advice other than do what you think is right and in the best interest of your pet.

Best of luck to you two it really really sucks
[/quote]

Wasn't a cat guy either till I met this one. I'm really sorry to hear about your dog.

I know you're right about seeing them go in peace instead of in pain; very difficult decision either way, almost like there's no right answer

[DeNinny]

ChristopherMcDonald as a fellow cat lover you have my deepest sympathy. I have two cats currently and there was a previous one that passed from old age. That was not a good time for my wife and I and so I can understand a little how you feel. We both took him to his last doctor's visit and I would suggest that you and your girlfriend both do it since you should have each other's support during that time. I would at least make sure your girlfriend absolutely doesn't want to go, but she may regret that later. I know my wife and I needed each other that day.

I hope you can view this simply that you had some great times with her and just think about the positive memories.

My avatar is one of my cats. His name is Diablo. He is very special to me in that he is the very first cat that I picked out myself and brought home from the Humane Society as a kitten. And you know what? I was on my way home from playing golf that day at a goat track course that I only played because I had a free pass for it. I never would have passed by that Humane Society if not for that fee pass. I looked at two kittens before him and when I was checking him out he was the most timid cat. He tried to hide behind a chair leg and when I finally picked him up I noticed that he was a polydactyl. At that moment I knew he was going to be my cat. I took him home and immediately my wife fell in love with him too. He has become very dog-like and will come to me *most* of the time when I call. He lets me carry him around and to my wife he will literally hug her around the neck and lick her ears back and forth. I've never had a more affectionate and loving cat and cannot even imagine him getting sick or losing him.

I have also taken one of his lives. I was 3/4 swinging a 6i in the house and hit him smack in the ribs as he bolted through the room from out of nowhere. My wife was in tears as we took him to the emergency vet. He had severely bruised ribs but has recovered fine. That was a horrible night as well.

So since he has been a part of golf for me, he is my avatar.

My deepest condolences.

[ChristopherMcDonald]

[quote name='DeNinny' timestamp='1429937393' post='11437821']
ChristopherMcDonald as a fellow cat lover you have my deepest sympathy. I have two cats currently and there was a previous one that passed from old age. That was not a good time for my wife and I and so I can understand a little how you feel. We both took him to his last doctor's visit and I would suggest that you and your girlfriend both do it since you should have each other's support during that time. I would at least make sure your girlfriend absolutely doesn't want to go, but she may regret that later. I know my wife and I needed each other that day.

I hope you can view this simply that you had some great times with her and just think about the positive memories.

My avatar is one of my cats. His name is Diablo. He is very special to me in that he is the very first cat that I picked out myself and brought home from the Humane Society as a kitten. And you know what? I was on my way home from playing golf that day at a goat track course that I only played because I had a free pass for it. I never would have passed by that Humane Society if not for that fee pass. I looked at two kittens before him and when I was checking him out he was the most timid cat. He tried to hide behind a chair leg and when I finally picked him up I noticed that he was a polydactyl. At that moment I knew he was going to be my cat. I took him home and immediately my wife fell in love with him too. He has become very dog-like and will come to me *most* of the time when I call. He lets me carry him around and to my wife he will literally hug her around the neck and lick her ears back and forth. I've never had a more affectionate and loving cat and cannot even imagine him getting sick or losing him.

I have also taken one of his lives. I was 3/4 swinging a 6i in the house and hit him smack in the ribs as he bolted through the room from out of nowhere. My wife was in tears as we took him to the emergency vet. He had severely bruised ribs but has recovered fine. That was a horrible night as well.

So since he has been a part of golf for me, he is my avatar.

My deepest condolences.
[/quote]

Good advice and heart felt response. Thank you for the kind words

[Michael C.]

I was never a cat person growing up. We always had dogs. My wife is an animal person. She had a cat when we first got together but I wasn't that close to him. Then, came Maya. She was a rescue that we soon learned was pregnant after she was with us a few weeks. We ended up keeping one of her kittens after finding good homes for the others.

Maya somehow knew that I was inexperienced with cats and it seemed to be her mission to be "my" cat. Her meow sounded like she was saying "hi" and I was the only one she'd answer to when I would greet her with a "Hi Maya".

Sadly, after several years, her kidneys began to fail. She got weak and could barely jump. We made the decision to do what we had to do. My wife couldn't stay in the room which surprised me as she has been good with that kind of thing before but, Maya was extra special.

I'm not an overly emotional person and certainly not moved to tears easily, yet, I found my head buried in a pillow sobbing like a little kid when I got home and a lump in my throat the rest of the day. "All of this over a cat" I kept thinking. They can sure get into your heart and soul.

Good luck to you and yours, Christopher. My sympathies and I wish you well.

Michael

[dcmidnight]

Prayers go out, wife and I rescued two cats a few years ago and they are the best. Having been through this before, the only thing that makes it better is time - it will get better.

[goondawg]

I feel for you and your girlfriend. Our pets bring us great joy and friendship but also break our hearts. Like many on here I have walked in your shoes in this situation. It sounds like you will need to find it in yourself to be the strong one for her and the cat. Its never easy nor something we ever want to have to do. She and the cat both need you now. I know when I have needed to put a pet to rest it did help me down the road that I was by their side at the very end. Again, I am sorry you guys are going through this.

[Go_Blue!]

I have always been a cat lover. As you can tell by my handle, I am a die-hard Michigan fan. About 16 years ago, we rescued two litter mates, both boys. We wanted to name them after famous duos, and it wasn't long or hard to decide what to name them; any true college football fan will appreciate it, but we named them Bo and Woody.

These guys have been incredible family members with such unique personalities. Woody would curl up next to you and use you like a pillow, like most dogs would.

About 6 years ago, Woody became ill. Long story short we had to make that decision to take him in for his last vet appt. Today, at 16 years old, Bo is still living life for both of them. That darn cat and I are attached at the hip. The minute I walk in he knows it and is going crazy at the door. He acts like a 5 year old still with all his energy.

As you know, they aren't "like family"...they ARE family. All I will say is when the time comes, remember all the love and joy your cat brought to you and allow her the opportunity to go out as painlessly as possible.

[ChristopherMcDonald]

Heart felt posts guys, really appreciate hearing the words of encouragement, was half expecting to get flamed for being a panzy.

My girlfriend and I had a talk today about it today and we think we are going to schedule the last visit soon.

We were thinking about running subcutaneously liquid injections at home but that would require her being hospitalized to be "stable" at which point we could get her home to start our own hydration therapy. With the cost of all of that, plus her current condition, we think it would just be prolonging the inevitable and she will never be what she once was. Very sad situation but you guys have helped put things into perspective.

I will be sure to keep you all updated.

I hope this thread can keep going and words of encouragement taken from here can be shared across all areas of our life.

Thanks again everyone.

[Kaysquare]

It is a terrible decision to have to make, but you owe it to your beloved cat to see that she does not suffer needlessly. If you let her go on in pain because you cannot take the suffering of putting her down, that would be very selfish.....she would suffer so you wouldn't have to. The kindest most compassionate thing you can do is to take her to the vet yourself, hold her in your arms, and let the vet take care of her. Yes, it hurts terribly, but it's the right thing to do.
I know you think it would be best if she just went to sleep during the night, but that almost never happens.

Believe me, I've been through it with numerous dogs and it never gets easier, but the joy of having a dog or a cat in your life is worth the pain you go through when you have to say goodbye. So sorry you're going thru this. Get a new kitten or puppy sooner rather than later, & you'll find you CAN love another pet again, even more sometimes.

[Qqq123xx]

I will answer in what happened to myself. Three years ago my cat of almost 14 passed. She had cancer. I kept her around for to long. And she suffered needlessly. To this day I have kicked myself for that. It is very hard weighing her interacting with what is really best for her, I know. I would be the last one to tell you what to do. And it is really tough sledding. Might want to run it by the Vet. and see what he/she says. Wish I had. Hang in there, good luck.

[goondawg]

[quote name='ChristopherMcDonald' timestamp='1429980018' post='11439931']
Heart felt posts guys, really appreciate hearing the words of encouragement, was half expecting to get flamed for being a panzy.
[/quote]

Anyone who would flame someone for grieving over a family pet is a true coward.

[MtlJeff]

I'm a huge animal lover. I've had cats my whole life because my mom loved them growing up, and my wife now makes a habit of rescuing animals. We currently have 2 cats (a 3yr old male and a 10yr old female, both rescues) who live with us, and a Shetland Sheepdog (also a rescue) who lives with my wife's parents. I also had a Lab/Pit mix dog that now lives with my mom

I can't remember that last time i wasn't around cats. Growing up we always had 2. Unfortunately since we let them outdoors mostly the life expectancy is a lot shorter, so i've had some cats get into accidents. We did have one however who was a true outdoor cat, and lived to 21yrs old before getting sick himself and having to be put down for the same reasons you are talking about

It's very sad, i had that cat from the time i was 5-6yrs old until i was 27. Obviously you get attached. But truth be told if you're a cat lover you'll get a new one eventually and they will be a lot of fun too. My new 3yr old one reminds me a lot of the cat i grew up with (we don't let him outside though)

It's just how it goes unfortunately, with the life expectancy of cats and dogs

[ChristopherMcDonald]

Yeah I guess I was hoping for more time with her. She's only 7 but with her breed of cat I guess they're in the top 5 of likelihood of getting kidney failure.

We are doing our best to make an appointment now as she has become very stagnant and doesn't purr or anything when we touch her anymore so it seems like she's getting close.

I fed her a bit of milk with a syringe as its her favorite and wanted her to find some peace as we get closer to the appointment. She sat with me for the last several hours, making sure she knows I love her.

We are going to be taking her in within the hour now, girlfriend is on the phone as I type this out. Very sad.

[Vintage1976]

So sorry to hear this news. Many of them are more than just pets, they are truly friends. Pain passes with time but you don't stop loving them even when they're gone. A lot of people are thinking of you today CM.

My wife and I are cat lovers and have two right now. Our third was put down three years ago. He developed diabetes which we gladly treated with insulin injections and a special diet for over a year. Eventually it took a toll on his organs and the rest of his body and when he refused to eat or drink anymore we had to take him in. He was legendary in both of our family circles. He was a BFM, and I mean that. He scarred grown men and I saw it with my own eyes. He was a really big orange tabby and took no crap from anyone until he got to know you, and then he loved you like nobody else. His personality was bigger than most of the people I have met in my life. We both cried like we lost a family member the day he died, because really we did. He was the strongest, smartest, most willful animal I have ever been around. Dam I even miss him jumping straight up on the counter and opening every cupboard in the kitchen just to see what was in there.

[ChristopherMcDonald]

Thank you everyone for the kind words. Lola is now in a better place and has been out to rest. In addition to my extended goodbye at home we spent a half hour with her in the room.

It was the best thing for her and the vet confirmed this for us; we know we did the best we could and we knew when she was ready.

Thank you all again for the kind thoughts

[deetsal]

[quote name='ChristopherMcDonald' timestamp='1429932259' post='11437489']
Hey guys,

Kind of a heavy topic. My cat went to the vet today with my girlfriend and we found out she is past stage 5 kidney failure. Basically there's nothing we can do. She has had our cat, Lola, since she was a kitten, so it is especially hard on her. I have shed tears already about it, as this cat acts more like a dog than anything, and I have spent the last two years of my life with her constantly by my side.

Watching her deteriorate like this is extremely disheartening. Quality of life comes to mind, but she still interacts with us and we have tried everything possible for her to eat like liquid food and some pediolyte to get electrolytes in her to make her as comfortable as possible.

I know that if it comes to it, I will have to be the one who takes her to her last doctor visit.

How do I deal with that?

I'm struggling to find the ability to be the strong one and be there as a pillar to lean on for my girlfriend. All wishes, comments, and stories are very appreciated.

Thanks for reading
[/quote]I just know how you feel, I had a cat for 20 years, she was my best friend, really my sole mate, just be happy you knew it and sad you lost it. I have 2 puppies, they are great but I am a cat person, always will be. You can connect in a deeper way with a cat. I takes lots of time but it is special in a different way then dogs. Like they say you own dogs, cats own you. Sorry

[Kaysquare]

My vet told me something last year when I was agonizing about the time drawing near to have to say goodbye to my 16-yr old Cocker. He said It's far better to say goodbye too soon, than doing it too late. Very true....I see too many people wait too long & watch their pets suffer needlessly.

[mtgrizinmn]

Sorry to hear about this. We just had to put our cat of 13 years down which is hard enough, but having to explain to my 9 year old was even worse

[Mr. Grumpy]

Sorry to hear... Never easy..

I have found that memorializing a pet in some way helps - a portrait, a written response, something to formalize your relationship, especially before the last vet visit.

[Michael C.]

Sorry to hear.

My condolences to you and your girlfriend.

[CommerceTiger]

Sorry to hear man. Never had a cat I was this close to you but when Athena (my Shetland Sheepdog) passes I know I will be a wreck. Best of luck with the grieving process and hopefully you can find a cat who will remind you of her.

RIP Lola.

[ChristopherMcDonald]

We have her ashes coming to us and will be making a memorial to her a nice chest for the ashes and a photo or two of her; still sad, up most of the night comforting my girlfriend though I wasn't sleeping much either

[DeNinny]

[quote name='ChristopherMcDonald' timestamp='1430069002' post='11445371']
We have her ashes coming to us and will be making a memorial to her a nice chest for the ashes and a photo or two of her; still sad, up most of the night comforting my girlfriend though I wasn't sleeping much either
[/quote]

Christopher I wish only the best for you and your girlfriend in this tough time. When the time is right I'm sure there's another kitten out there that could use both of your love and provide some back. Also note that with this thread you have prompted me to give a little more love to my own cats and I'm sure others have done the same. There are some positives in all of this.

[Hit em good]

sorry to hear.
We had to take our dog in for the last visit some years ago. He was in pain, so it was the time to do it. Nevertheless, it was still very hard to watch him breath his last because of our decision. So, my advice is to take the cat to the last visit when continuing to live is not comfortable for him. Take care.

[ChristopherMcDonald]

[quote name='DeNinny' timestamp='1430070202' post='11445471']
[quote name='ChristopherMcDonald' timestamp='1430069002' post='11445371']
We have her ashes coming to us and will be making a memorial to her a nice chest for the ashes and a photo or two of her; still sad, up most of the night comforting my girlfriend though I wasn't sleeping much either
[/quote]

Christopher I wish only the best for you and your girlfriend in this tough time. When the time is right I'm sure there's another kitten out there that could use both of your love and provide some back. Also note that with this thread you have prompted me to give a little more love to my own cats and I'm sure others have done the same. There are some positives in all of this.
[/quote]

Yes one of my hopes was that people would cherish their pets just a little more and be aware of how important they an be to us.

I have my dog Dorothy, she's a glen of imaal terrier and she's aiding me during this time. We've had her about 2 weeks and its definitely nice never being alone right now.

Thanks again to everyone

[Kaysquare]

The best tribute you can do for a beloved pet of any kind, is to go to your local humane society shelter & rescue another pet....there are so many out there needing/deserving forever homes. Most animals there are there for no fault of their own....just the ignorance/stupidity or inhumane treatment from humans.

[golfinray]

On January 2, 2014 my wife and I lost our beloved Meagan.

She was everything a person would ever want in a cat.

She died at 10 from a bad heart.

From the time we took her at 6 weeks she slept nose to nose with me.

She was constantly talking to us.

Constantly giving us all the love she had. And she loved everyone and never met a stranger.

She died in the vets off ice with my wife and holding her and telling her how much we loved her.

Probably seem stupid to a lot of people but I still cry evey time I think about her.

We buried her in her favorite spot in the garden where she an see the buterflies and birds she loved.

Sorry, have to go.

[Nancy Q]

First...sorry for your loss. You did the right thing.

I agree with Kaysquare. Adopting a pet from a shelter gives the gift of a home to an animal without one and possibly save its life. It would be a wonderful way to offset the pain of your loss. I work at a shelter and adult cats sometimes have a difficult time getting adopted. You could double down with an adult cat.

If you aren't interested in another cat at this time a donation would be an awesome thing as well.