What would you tell your younger self?

[LouieLouie]

For some reason this topic has come up in various circles of my life recently and so I wanted to pose the question to this board.

 

I'm only 34 so while I have some advice I could give to my younger self, I'm certainly more interested in hearing from the more experienced crowd.

 

1. Save more money. Everyone tells me to save more money so you can retire one day so add more to the 401k each year.

 

2. Repair the old car. It will save you a boatload of money in the long run and someone will probably scratch your new ride at the office parking lot anyway.

 

3. Don't drink so much. Nine times out of ten you just do stupid stuff when you drink so just take it easy. Plus you always feel like crap the next day. After 3 or 4 beers just drink water the rest of the night.

 

4. Get your MBA sooner rather than later. Engineering was a good choice but management gets treated better. Get the MBA so you can take the pressure of getting a higher degree off the table. Plus, it is easier to go to school when you don't have a wife or gf. Getting the Masters in Engineering doesn't really open any new doors, just more engineering positions.

 

 

That's good enough for now. What would you guys and girls say to your younger selves?

[MtlJeff]

Honestly, I have no regrets. There's things I could've maybe done and didn't, but trying those things could've butterfly-effected me into worse spots too. If you had a do-over, things could get worse as well as better

 

I like my job a lot, my wife is great.

 

I wouldn't change anything really

[JackpotJohnny]

Pull out

[The Pearl]

Pull out

 

Damn early extension.

[MtlJeff]

BTW Louie what kind of engineer are you?

 

Nothing wrong with being a skilled person like that. Management types come and go, they get a nice paycheck but are also on the chopping block whenever a company gets bought, or needs re-structuring to appease shareholders. I've seen many management types come and go (i am in management, but fortunately work at a large private company, and knock on wood, the owner seems happy running the company and isn't too impulsive. So i consider myself very fortunate to for the moment have decent job security)

 

But public companies? Forget it....Management people are like NFL coaches. Hired to be fired. And unless you are seriously juiced in , or high enough on the totem pole, you aren't making a huge severance or killing it on shares

 

You know who always finds a job though? Skilled people! Electrical Engineers , at least the ones i know....are always in demand, and pretty much pick where they work. So maybe they make a little less annually, but the security is better long term

[jtothep21]

1) Don't Party as much, all that money spent could have gone towards purchasing a second house.

2) All those Vegas trips really were not worth it.

3) Wish I would have traveled abroad earlier, been all over Asia, the South Pacific, and South America, just lacking Europe.

 

 

That is about it, live and learn, job is good, finances are in line, great GF.

[Aimee]

I would tell my younger self to try golf. It was too hard to start up in my 30's, and if I had started at age 12 could have probably gotten a scholarship (much easier for girls to get them for golf, smaller pool of applicants, if you can break 90 someone will take you).

Only other regret is too much time in the sun without enough sunscreen so I'd get my burn and tan faster (grew up near the beach). Have had skin cancer. So I'd tell younger me not to be a dope and put on the 30 SPF.

[Kaysquare]

To my 18-yr old self, I'd say "Listen to your Father, he was SOOOO right" about so many things.

[xxio]

Stay off the sugar

[ZAP]

I would tell myself to ....

spend less time looking out the window and more time looking in the mirror.

Get to know your grandparents better.

 

 

 

And

 

DON"T SELL THE BETTINARDI!

[LouieLouie]

BTW Louie what kind of engineer are you?

 

Nothing wrong with being a skilled person like that. Management types come and go, they get a nice paycheck but are also on the chopping block whenever a company gets bought, or needs re-structuring to appease shareholders. I've seen many management types come and go (i am in management, but fortunately work at a large private company, and knock on wood, the owner seems happy running the company and isn't too impulsive. So i consider myself very fortunate to for the moment have decent job security)

 

But public companies? Forget it....Management people are like NFL coaches. Hired to be fired. And unless you are seriously juiced in , or high enough on the totem pole, you aren't making a huge severance or killing it on shares

 

You know who always finds a job though? Skilled people! Electrical Engineers , at least the ones i know....are always in demand, and pretty much pick where they work. So maybe they make a little less annually, but the security is better long term

 

I'm an aerospace engineer. My experiences have been different from yours. Engineers that I know, are let go by the time they are 50 because they cost too much. They are usually replaced with a younger worker or a contractor foreigner that works for half the price. There are managers of everything and they are rarely let go. They are also paid a lot more and have better benefits. So it might just be my industry but my experiences have been different.

[5UnderPar]

Go and see the bands you love before they get old, fat and overly satisfied with themselves.

[mflores]

Take more risk - worry less about making mistakes

Get my MBA right after college

Should have closed the deal more with willing women

[Coheed]

...don't get married!

The rest would have all fallen into place.

[CrabDaddy]

There will be these companies called Microsoft, Apple, and Intel...

 

 

[MrTmag]

There will be these companies called Microsoft, Apple, and Intel...

Reminds me of the movie Hot Tub Time Machine and the Lougle and Motley Lue scenes lol.

[SilverBullets]

Wear sunscreen and sunglasses while playing golf (or simply being outside)! I'm 29 and have developed a pterygium in my left eye which is pretty much a constant bother. I also had 2 moles removed last week which came back as being moderately atypical and require further biopsy (doesn't appear to be cancerous but is precancerous).

 

Those are the big things. I slacked on sunscreen until I was in my mid 20's and never wore sunscreen. Regret both of those decisions mightily now.

[spazo]

Don't be so dam serious about everything. Life's too short, and you can get f'd even when you do everything right. Better to have good memories than a bank account full of dollars.

[AWE46M3]

S-L-O-W DOWN!

[hammy83]

did you listen to a brad paisley?

 

With regards to my ex-wife, if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck.... its not a flamingo... its a F***ing DUCK.

 

I should have taken up a trade instead of going to college.

[PixlPutterman]

No credit cards and school is your job.

 

Suchs being 30 and still having to rent an apt.

[BParis]

Sunscreen, a lot of sunscreen.

 

Protect your knees and keep exercising.

 

Start saving money early.

 

Call your mom more often. <<<<< most important!

[Joe85]

I'm in my mid-30s now, so I'm not "old" per se (40 is the new 30 anyway, right?), and I still have goals and dreams, however...I've made more mistakes than 90% plus of people my age.

 

 

One thing for sure I would do is start the business I wanted to start back when I was in my early- to mid-20s that I wanted to. That is for sure. I pissed away a lot of cash from then to now via poor decisions and mistakes.

[Joe85]

I should have taken up a trade instead of going to college.

 

 

I wish more youngsters would take that to heart. It's unbelievable how much you can make in some trades. Had I gotten one when I was 20 I could have easily retired at around age 50, as frugal and money saving conscious I've always been as a person. I would be half way to retirement, own my own house, Cadillac, truck and Corvette right now had I just started a trade back when I was 20....

[VivaTerlingua]

1. Don't worry so much. It turns out ok.

2. Don't follow the dollar. Trust me on this.

3. When you have children, spend too much time with them. They're grown quickly.

4. Don't worry so much. It turns out ok.

[EKELLY]

Let's see:

 

1. When you had the chance to invest in Callaway, ground floor, you should have........

2. That company "Apple" that everyone joked about, you'd be wealthy if you invested a couple grand.....

That restaurant you could have gotten in on ground floor investing, that you said "restaurants come and go", was Outback!......

3. Don't get a degree in a field you have no intention on working in!.....

4. Listen to your father, he really is a genius....He has a lot of money, and you don't......

5. Marry someone with goals and desire, not a Hooter's calendar girl! (Which I did, and should have taken a mulligan!).....

6. Be nice to your little sister, her friends will be HOT! (Of course they were, and hated me!).....

[tocino]

Pull out

 

Damn early extension.

 

i love my two eldest kids so much and i can't imagine my life without them if I did "pull out". In fact the way my life was going at the time i got my 1st wife pregnant (gf at the time) i was either going to be really successful or i would've ended up in the gutter.

 

Oh and someone mentioned apple already, but I was going to SJSU in the mid 90's and i remember reading an article somewhere that if you had used the ~$3000 that you would need to buy one of their top-of-the-line desktops at the time and invested it in the company you'd be a millionaire. LOL too bad i was a PC guy (better games), and if I had $3000 dollars I would've probably spent it on booze, CD's, clothing, and other extra-curricular entertainment before buying a mac/investing in apple =P

[HoosierHacker89]

I would tell myself to live the dream more

[SixtySomePing]

65 in March here, so maybe I can contribute something, so of course these are just my opinions/what I would have said to me/other young people, not necessarily in order.

• choose your life partner because you truly care for each other from the heart and can communicate well, and always be honest with each other
  
• don't let a career find you, decide at some point what you want to do, and you go make it happen...and think of what kind of jobs there will be 30 years from now- go for that
  
• learn to communicate-speak better, more clearly, in front of people, with people (I went to college for communications, I am in management, I hire and train people, what impresses me most is people who can communicate- not email, not text, but one on one conversation, and in a group of people- please listen to that)
  
• save money now, don't ever stop, you will need it. get in the habit/practice, whatever and don't quit... and keep credit cards paid off
  
• buy some real estate, a house, some property to build on someday, don't just spend all your money on useless things
  
• take good care of your health, when you are old, you will be glad you did, play golf, you can play it all your life
  
• pay attention to people, learn to listen, not just talk, care about others besides yourself- people will like you better
  
• help others in need, don't be afraid to give of yourself
  
• be thankful, for God, country, parents, those who serve, those for whom you work, anyone who does something for you, there are more than you realize
  
• enjoy life, don't complain or whine, someone always has it worse than you, and not all situations are about you, so don't respond with how it affects you more
  
• there will always be bad times and good times, learn patience, the mountain top always looks the highest from the deepest part of the valley
  
• trying to be cool or popular is fake, be true to yourself, don't try to impress others-let maturity build in you.
  

[spazo]

I ripped this from another website I've frequented in the past. I think it's probably the best summation of good advice a person had ever put in print (it was supposed to be financial advice, but obviously goes much deeper):

 

 

 

 

It can all come crashing down on you (or the society) at any time.

 

No plan, no way of life, no savings, no investment, no strategy, no educational degree, no job, no marriage, no house is entirely safe.

 

Looking after your health (better than most Americans do) will probably benefit you enormously in the future.

 

There is usually an "opportunity cost" to every choice. Being mindful of the realistic costs of your actions, and the reasonable alternative actions you have, not only saves regret in the future, but can help you make wise choices in the present.

 

There could be a few people in your life who decide to really, really screw you over, sometimes for no apparent reason. Some of these people evade every sort of intutive (or otherwise) detection before they do so. Don't be surprised if it happens.

 

Individuals and society can easily turn against people who are too honest and passionate. There is always a price to pay if you decide not to blend into the silent majority. And there might be a moral or long-term price to pay if you blend in against your conscience, but that is more of an unknown, or more down to the person's spiritual beliefs.

 

Most people have had more distress, pain, and heartache in their lives than is obvious. Be as gentle as you can to everyone. Sometimes the most difficult, brusque people, or the most flamboyant, or the most shy, are the most decent of all, deep down.

 

The "Stepford Wife" lifestyle is boring and can often be a trap. Be different, be your own person.

 

It's very hard, especially these days, to get away with anything sneaky or that you would wish to keep private. Just realize you will probably be found out if you try to do this.

 

Unfortunately, no one can be trusted 100%. But acting like you mistrust everyone won't get you anywhere.

 

If you are a guy, you may not fully understand when you meet a really great girl that there are really good reasons to hang onto her, even if you feel that the "timing" in your life or her life is off. Contrary to how it may seem to you at the time, you may meet thousands of girls after her, but you might never meet one who is so great for you as this one is. There are a lot of pressures now in mens' lives to be bachelors to their late 30s and beyond. There is a price to pay for this, so just try to be aware of the pros and cons if you decide to let a special woman go.

 

And PLEASE communicate well with any woman you are breaking up with. They deserve to hear kindnesses and be treated with respect, and to know what really is going on in your thoughts and life. The silent treatment can be unbelievably cruel and leave lasting scars, even though it's easiest for you at the time.

 

Also, you might see that guys like Ron Wood (Rolling Stones) or Rod Stewart or Donald Trump are wrinkly old fellers but have 30-something beautiful brides (and get a new one every 5 or 10 years or so) -- not only will this probably NOT be your trajectory, but it might not be as enjoyable as it looks.

 

Realize that, seriously, viewing too much porn warps anyone's brain. Good sex is not really like how it's usually portrayed in porn films. Guys who are in their 20s and 30s now are often so bad at intimacy because they haven't organically grown into it, they are just recreating what they've seen on the screen. There is a big generational divide, it's amazing.

 

Learn what your personality type is and how people of other types see the world differently, and how to interact successfully with them. (Such as with the Myers-Briggs Personality / Type Indicator test.) If this sounds strange or psychological mumbo-jumbo to you, know that it's actually quite useful, even to the most hardheaded, macho types.

 

If you become a parent, even if it was by surprise, be a good parent. Be stable and trustworthy, kind and encouraging, supportive of them physically, emotionally, spiritually.

 

Know that no matter what your circumstances, luck, natural abilities, family origin, ethnicity, education, IQ, etc., you are a beautiful person with a unique, amazing soul, with many choices in life, and much potential. You are valuable to the world, and you matter. Your actions, whether good or evil, will affect countless people you'll never meet.

 

Humility is always a wise position to take, even in the US where the social preference is exaggerated braggadocio.

 

Do not assume that people are as they appear to be upon first impressions. Don't be superficial. Don't be a jerk. Don't be prejudiced. Don't use violence unless it's a necessity.

 

Travel, meet different kinds of people, give other ways of life a little try for a while. Open your mind, open your heart. Read books the old-fashioned way. Hike in nature.

 

Be extremely mindful of your privacy and your data -- it's probably not really going to be possible anymore, but do what you can. The world turns nasty fast, and anything scary that happened in the last century (Holocaust, prison camps, genocide, etc.) can happen in the present one, anywhere, and even worse.

 

At least to me, there does seem to be some sort of Good and Evil. You probably will want to choose one or the other side, even if you aren't religious. Both roads are hard.

 

Research for yourself. Don't cede authority over your life to other people. There is so much information out there that might help you.

 

There are very good reasons for not dabbling with addictive substances, as attractive, creative, badass, mind-expanding, social-life-expanding, glamourous as they might seem at the outset. Do your research first if you decide to experiment with these things. If you are young and eager to fit in or be cool, it's only later that you will see the horrific toll that *some* of this stuff *can* take on your life or your acquaintances' lives.

 

Obviously, this isn't all financial advice, but it boils down to good advice for life. If your life is a mess, or your heart is breaking, it doesn't really matter what your finances are like. Most people can actually be quite happy being relatively poor, depending on their mindset.