Anxiety and working through it.....

[SwooshLT]

Whether it be tournament induced pressure, unknown course or perceived annoying playing partners.......how do my fellow WRX'ers deal? I get into this stressful funks that ruin more rounds than necessary...... HELP!

[Millbrook]

Be aware if you have any 'inner dialogue' going on in your head as the start point then work from there.

[b.helts]

I “like”d the comment from Millbrook but really I love it. These things all come down to self-awareness. Like anything else in golf, we get better with practice. Whether it be annoying competitors, the stress of a back nine lead or playing a course you’ve never seen before. We get better the more we do it.

And just like the swing, we need to know our faults. And you get to know those faults by being aware of your own mindset, how you react to situations and then doing it better each and every time.

And breathing. Breathe breathe breathe.

[SwooshLT]

> @"b.helts" said:

> I “like”d the comment from Millbrook but really I love it. These things all come down to self-awareness. Like anything else in golf, we get better with practice. Whether it be annoying competitors, the stress of a back nine lead or playing a course you’ve never seen before. We get better the more we do it.

> And just like the swing, we need to know our faults. And you get to know those faults by being aware of your own mindset, how you react to situations and then doing it better each and every time.

> And breathing. Breathe breathe breathe.

 

Cleansing breaths have been added.....internal pressure is from maybe too much self awareness.....lol

 

Formally a scratch golfer but age and life have caught up and passed me by..... I shot 69 on Monday in a relaxing, fast paced round.....84 Tuesday where everything just irritated me.....back got tight, greens were slow, paired with nice but slow golfers playing the wrong tees( I know, out of my control but one guy moved up after 6 holes)

 

Retiring at the end of the month and want to play more events and travel golf.....don't want it to be burden or so anti-social ....I'm thinking thc/CBD combo as a serious possibility.....

[jbw749]

Be humble yet confident, never talk handicaps or previous best or worst rounds. Don't talk about anything past or future related to golf. This is essential when learning how to be in the present. The narrator in your head is fine as long as it's giving useful information about the present and not dwelling in the past, worrying about the future, being critical of itself or others and lastly not being overconfident.

Stop yourself everytime your mind goes there and be aware of it. This is a round about way of eliminating judgment.

 

Whatever it is you do in your pre-shot routine is fine just make sure you build the whole process around contentment and that it's repeatable. At no point should past or future thoughts enter your mind during the PSR or during the swing.

The player who swings worried and a player who swings content are on such different playing fields it's hard to even compare.

[Petethreeput]

The Unstoppable Golfer by Rotella discusses this very issue. You may want to give it a read. I have read it and have seen some improvement in my trouble areas. It is short game specific, but if your issue is off the tee or with irons I would think it could be applied there as well.

[SwooshLT]

> @Petethreeput said:

> The Unstoppable Golfer by Rotella discusses this very issue. You may want to give it a read. I have read it and have seen some improvement in my trouble areas. It is short game specific, but if your issue is off the tee or with irons I would think it could be applied there as well.

 

Is that fairly new book? I read many of his books from the 90's ...

[uitar9]

Controlled breathing really helps. 10 breathes at a time, concentrating on the breath going in and out or adding number count with each breath, 1-10.

Nobody sees you doing it and it really helps me erase the head chat.

And stretching during the round. Does the same thing.

[Petethreeput]

> @" SwooshLT" said:

> > @Petethreeput said:

> > The Unstoppable Golfer by Rotella discusses this very issue. You may want to give it a read. I have read it and have seen some improvement in my trouble areas. It is short game specific, but if your issue is off the tee or with irons I would think it could be applied there as well.

>

> Is that fairly new book? I read many of his books from the 90's ...

I am not sure. I found it used for $3. I enjoyed it and try to incorporate it into my PSR with varying results, but like some of his others it is clearly written and helpful. Just looked 2012

 

[bladehunter]

Op. Man. > @" SwooshLT" said:

> Whether it be tournament induced pressure, unknown course or perceived annoying playing partners.......how do my fellow WRX'ers deal? I get into this stressful funks that ruin more rounds than necessary...... HELP!

 

It’s a great question. One I’m trying to teach my 10 year old now. He’s Uber competitive like me and is in a stage where he expects results. And this game won’t give them easily.

 

For me. I have a mindset of “ what won’t kill me will make me better “. After all. What you’re dealing with is the old “ fight or flight “ reflex. I’m the type that has always been more or mostly fight. I don’t have enough sense to run. Lol. As in fear makes me angry. And I have a enormous adrenaline response. But you have to learn how to use it. And that’s a multi pronged issue.

 

1st thing that I know helps is to have a solid Pre shot routine. Short as possible but a solid on off switch. I stole Richards ( forgedforever ) a couple years ago. I don’t pull a club from the bag until I have a yardage and shot in mind etc. then I step up and send it. Once I pull the club I don’t speak. I don’t hear you etc. I try to “ get in the tunnel “ as I call it. If something does distract. ( tree falls , plane crashes etc) I’d put the club back and pull it again to reset. Doing this every single shot. Even some range practice like this will help train your brain to focus.

 

2nd recognize the adrenaline Response. When I get this I think “ tempo “ only. I try to be smooth. Knowing the power will come. Generally this will keep you from swinging out of your shoes.

 

3rd . This is a personal one. I come from a childhood background of some bad things. ( long story ) But by the grace of god and some good people I’ve been lifted form that cycle. One person that lifted me was my grandfather. The only dad I knew. He was also born into poverty and wasn’t alllwed to go to school past 6th grade etc. he had to go to work. Then drafted at age 18 for WWII and served in Europe including Dday and then the South Pacific even seeing the bomb sites in japan. A youth that makes mine look like a picnic in the park. And it wasn’t. When I hit one of those moments where my heart races and I feel the “ panic” try to take hold I’ve taught myself to smile. I actually just smile and then I have a thought that I’ve also added. I think about my grandfather and I tell myself “ this ain’t nothing . It’s a game. What would papa think “. And that makes me smile bigger. Because I know what he’d say . He’d say “ ain’t no hill for a climber , get to climbing “! And that melts it. Simple as that. It’s not as big as we build it up to be. Sure you or I may still hit a bad shot. No question it can happen. But. When it does happen just smile some more. And accept that that’s the game. Good or bad. Then only think of the next shot. It’s a cliche. But it’s true. If you can learn to forget the last one you can hit the next one and stop the bad runs that a bad mindset causes.

 

I hope that makes some sense? The short version is fine some perspective and smile. Smiling causes some sort of reaction that really does help.

 

 

I’m saying all this as a guy who used to snap more clubs that I care to admit. I could make a bogey on #8 while being 1 under and I’d end up shooting 85. No chance of that happening anymore.

 

[SwooshLT]

> @bladehunter said:

> Op. Man. > @" SwooshLT" said:

> > Whether it be tournament induced pressure, unknown course or perceived annoying playing partners.......how do my fellow WRX'ers deal? I get into this stressful funks that ruin more rounds than necessary...... HELP!

>

> It’s a great question. One I’m trying to teach my 10 year old now. He’s Uber competitive like me and is in a stage where he expects results. And this game won’t give them easily.

>

> For me. I have a mindset of “ what won’t kill me will make me better “. After all. What you’re dealing with is the old “ fight or flight “ reflex. I’m the type that has always been more or mostly fight. I don’t have enough sense to run. Lol. As in fear makes me angry. And I have a enormous adrenaline response. But you have to learn how to use it. And that’s a multi pronged issue.

>

> 1st thing that I know helps is to have a solid Pre shot routine. Short as possible but a solid on off switch. I stole Richards ( forgedforever ) a couple years ago. I don’t pull a club from the bag until I have a yardage and shot in mind etc. then I step up and send it. Once I pull the club I don’t speak. I don’t hear you etc. I try to “ get in the tunnel “ as I call it. If something does distract. ( tree falls , plane crashes etc) I’d put the club back and pull it again to reset. Doing this every single shot. Even some range practice like this will help train your brain to focus.

>

> 2nd recognize the adrenaline Response. When I get this I think “ tempo “ only. I try to be smooth. Knowing the power will come. Generally this will keep you from swinging out of your shoes.

>

> 3rd . This is a personal one. I come from a childhood background of some bad things. ( long story ) But by the grace of god and some good people I’ve been lifted form that cycle. One person that lifted me was my grandfather. The only dad I knew. He was also born into poverty and wasn’t alllwed to go to school past 6th grade etc. he had to go to work. Then drafted at age 18 for WWII and served in Europe including Dday and then the South Pacific even seeing the bomb sites in japan. A youth that makes mine look like a picnic in the park. And it wasn’t. When I hit one of those moments where my heart races and I feel the “ panic” try to take hold I’ve taught myself to smile. I actually just smile and then I have a thought that I’ve also added. I think about my grandfather and I tell myself “ this ain’t nothing . It’s a game. What would papa think “. And that makes me smile bigger. Because I know what he’d say . He’d say “ ain’t no hill for a climber , get to climbing “! And that melts it. Simple as that. It’s not as big as we build it up to be. Sure you or I may still hit a bad shot. No question it can happen. But. When it does happen just smile some more. And accept that that’s the game. Good or bad. Then only think of the next shot. It’s a cliche. But it’s true. If you can learn to forget the last one you can hit the next one and stop the bad runs that a bad mindset causes.

>

> I hope that makes some sense? The short version is fine some perspective and smile. Smiling causes some sort of reaction that really does help.

>

>

> I’m saying all this as a guy who used to snap more clubs that I care to admit. I could make a bogey on #8 while being 1 under and I’d end up shooting 85. No chance of that happening anymore.

>

 

Implementation underway.... clearly stated......

[dlygrisse]

I find the less I think about golf, except for my pre-shot routine the better I play. I really enjoy playing with people I can have a pleasant conversation with, or enjoying the beauty of the course. When it's time to hit the shot then I try to focus 100%.

 

I followed Lee Trevino once, he was jabbering and telling stories all the way down the fairway and on the tee box with the crowd. Instantly he demeanor change...."time to play golf" he said quickly. I noticed 100% focus as his group prepared to hit shots, and he quickly hit his.

[Itsjustagame]

Just focus on making golf shots not outcomes. Hit it, go get it, and hit it again.

[Hubijerk]

Reps. Experience is the only thing that will improve you're comfort level in stressful situations.

 

Books and philosophy are great, routines are fine, breathing is obviously not a bad idea... But understanding the cause of the anxiety is a good start. Fear, anxiety, pressure, tension, whatever you want to call it is the mind and body's way of alerting you to a threat. Once upon a time the threats were getting eaten by a lion, or starving to death, or drowning in a flash flood. Today, our anxieties are mostly self created... Bills, exams, fear of embarrassment etc. The same mortal danger often doesn't exist but the body responds the same way.

So how do you combat the pressure of bills, or exams, or embarrassing yourself during a speech or presentation? You prepare. You plan ahead. You anticipate based on previous experience.

 

If you get annoyed by annoying and slow playing partners... Seek that out from time to time. Put yourself in those situations that bring on this anxiety. Find some way to replicate tournament pressure, more tournaments, league, money games.. If playing with other really good players makes you on edge seek out better players to play with. Do those things that cause you anxiety until you embrace that feeling. Most people do everything they can to avoid anxiety, it's much harder to identify the true cause and do the hard and uncomfortable things necessary to overcome it.

[SwooshLT]

> @Hubijerk said:

> Reps. Experience is the only thing that will improve you're comfort level in stressful situations.

>

> Books and philosophy are great, routines are fine, breathing is obviously not a bad idea... But understanding the cause of the anxiety is a good start. Fear, anxiety, pressure, tension, whatever you want to call it is the mind and body's way of alerting you to a threat. Once upon a time the threats were getting eaten by a lion, or starving to death, or drowning in a flash flood. Today, our anxieties are mostly self created... Bills, exams, fear of embarrassment etc. The same mortal danger often doesn't exist but the body responds the same way.

> So how do you combat the pressure of bills, or exams, or embarrassing yourself during a speech or presentation? You prepare. You plan ahead. You anticipate based on previous experience.

>

> If you get annoyed by annoying and slow playing partners... Seek that out from time to time. Put yourself in those situations that bring on this anxiety. Find some way to replicate tournament pressure, more tournaments, league, money games.. If playing with other really good players makes you on edge seek out better players to play with. Do those things that cause you anxiety until you embrace that feeling. Most people do everything they can to avoid anxiety, it's much harder to identify the true cause and do the hard and uncomfortable things necessary to overcome it.

 

This is also great info and part of me gets upset with myself for NOT participating in tournaments when younger and better! I play them so infrequently due mostly to scheduling but as stated, I'm soon to be retired and will hang with the old farts more often...

[BB28403]

> @Petethreeput said:

> > @" SwooshLT" said:

> > > @Petethreeput said:

> > > The Unstoppable Golfer by Rotella discusses this very issue. You may want to give it a read. I have read it and have seen some improvement in my trouble areas. It is short game specific, but if your issue is off the tee or with irons I would think it could be applied there as well.

> >

> > Is that fairly new book? I read many of his books from the 90's ...

> I am not sure. I found it used for $3. I enjoyed it and try to incorporate it into my PSR with varying results, but like some of his others it is clearly written and helpful. Just looked 2012

>

$3! What? Is it solid gold!?

Lol, jk.

I'm more of a Gio Valiante kinda guy

 

[BB28403]

> @Hubijerk said:

> Reps. Experience is the only thing that will improve you're comfort level in stressful situations.

>

> Books and philosophy are great, routines are fine, breathing is obviously not a bad idea... But understanding the cause of the anxiety is a good start. Fear, anxiety, pressure, tension, whatever you want to call it is the mind and body's way of alerting you to a threat. Once upon a time the threats were getting eaten by a lion, or starving to death, or drowning in a flash flood. Today, our anxieties are mostly self created... Bills, exams, fear of embarrassment etc. The same mortal danger often doesn't exist but the body responds the same way.

> So how do you combat the pressure of bills, or exams, or embarrassing yourself during a speech or presentation? You prepare. You plan ahead. You anticipate based on previous experience.

>

> If you get annoyed by annoying and slow playing partners... Seek that out from time to time. Put yourself in those situations that bring on this anxiety. Find some way to replicate tournament pressure, more tournaments, league, money games.. If playing with other really good players makes you on edge seek out better players to play with. Do those things that cause you anxiety until you embrace that feeling. Most people do everything they can to avoid anxiety, it's much harder to identify the true cause and do the hard and uncomfortable things necessary to overcome it.

 

I tell you what, I had to evacuate from a MONSTER of a hurricane last year. Those fears are still very real. But I like what you are saying. The books do help because these authors understand how the mind works, they are therapists . Obviously some people discount therapists, but they are needed in high stress environments. Everyone on tour has a sports mental therapist.

[naval2006]

I play tournaments big and small very often. I consider myself a grinder more than anything these days. Like 20 years ago I used to look down on grinders. I had game and I could control the ball way above average. But my current golf is a little practice, not much of a game and a lot of self control to not get frustrated on awful shots and keeping focused as many shots as I can. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way and a decent round in tournament for me is really hard mental work, coping with my temper and managing my good and bad spans during the round. As a consequence I’ve grown steadier but I no longer go real low much of late.

 

There’s no single formula to handle the pressure and anxiety of the round, but it’s key to be honest to yourself about who you are as a player for a start and then you need determination to learn about how the mind works when playing. Rotella’s work on the golfers mind is superb and a great start. Michael Lardon is like a refresher of Rotella but with a little bit on an organisation in his line of thought. And Pia Nilsson is perhaps the most complete work combining the game and the mind. All highly recommend

[hoselpalooza]

3 things i've been working on for this:

1. tactical/box breathing. anything used by armed forces to focus in the heat of battle should be good for dealing with golf nerves imho.

2. game plan/preparation. it's nice/relaxing to have a strategy for each hole before getting to the course.

3. pre-shot routine. breathing and reducing tension is a part of this for me. and doing the same thing before every shot (with a good swing trigger) seems to help alleviate anxiety.

[AudTer]

From my own experience I can say that I practiced every day walks in parks. I started to going bed early and sleeping 8 hours a day. Moreover, I reduced caffeine in my daily consumption and also quit smoking. And also I recommend scheduling a visit with a therapist. My therapist recommended me to use green malay kratom. It’s one of the most famous herbs that experts recommend for a variety of ailments, thanks to its immense medicinal properties. Various research studies have found that Kratom is useful in inspiring a positive state of mind and causing users to have a more optimistic attitude about life in general. It helped me very much to get rid of anxiety. I started thinking optimistically and felt more upbeat. Hope my ow experience will help you all.

Edited November 15, 2020 by AudTer

[Shiprx]

Hello. New guy on the forum here, and also a mental health therapist. This might be one of the few topics I can weigh in on as my actual golf game is total garbage. There's a lot of good advice in the previous posts, and in case nobody mentioned it already, consistent practice of distress tolerance skills such as deep breathing or other grounding techniques is super critical in getting them to actually work. If you're prone to anxiety it might take some time for the brain to adjust to implementing more functional and helpful thought processes, but it's important to stick with it. 

 

For me personally, a pre shot routine that includes a a bit of progressive relaxation before I address the ball has done wonders for 1st tee jitters and anxiety stemming from playing with strangers. Also understanding that playing partners, no matter who they are, have likely seen a lot worse than the awful swings I may make on the course. As long as I keep pace and have a good attitude, nobody seems to mind those days when I'm grinding out a 96. For new courses I try my best to really observe my new surroundings and just take it all in.  There was a quote in the book Zen Golf that went something like "Be more curious than afraid."  I've found that to be pretty applicable on the golf course and in daily life.

[phizzy30]

Deep breathing and positive self talk help me get back on track when I'm on the first tee or have melt down holes. 

[nitram]

As mentioned, deep breathing and focus on the task at hand are keys to overcoming anxiety. I'll go a step further and say that developing acceptance of the result of the shot (good or bad) is also another key element. As long as you know you've done everything in your power to create a positive outcome from club selection, target selection, PSR, and shot execution, you have to accept the result. You are going to miss, that's a fact! Another fact is the people you are playing against are going to miss as well.

[Justsomeguy]

This is one part of life wherein I have little trouble metering my expectations. Everything that doesn't go horribly wrong is a gift.

But seriously, my method of dealing with all forms of anxiety is distraction from the impediment. Hyper focus is ideal, but in lieu of that, any other distraction is a positive.

You can argue that that doesn't solve a long term problem or it's not a direct or head on enough solution, but I counter that that approach only makes it a bigger blowup. You don't need to take it on adversarially. To carve it out as your nemesis is to give too much power to it.

Distraction robs it of its place in any mental or emotional hierarchy.

[mikpga]

On 5/8/2019 at 7:57 PM, SwooshLT said:

Whether it be tournament induced pressure, unknown course or perceived annoying playing partners.......how do my fellow WRX'ers deal? I get into this stressful funks that ruin more rounds than necessary...... HELP!

I suspect everyone deals with different levels of anxiety…

 

Personally, I try to embrace it, and enjoy it!  It’s part of competitive golf.  I’m sure there’s a long list of practical things one can do to distract their thoughts and stay in the present…

 

Will take some trial and error…

[naval2006]

On 5/9/2019 at 8:31 AM, jbw749 said:

 

The player who swings worried and a player who swings content are on such different playing fields it's hard to even compare.

This is so well said.  Two of my buddies low single former scratch players and multiple club champions are this way.  Be it playing for birdie or triple bogey they always remain calm and collected.  And always cheerful, Peter Thomson style. They are the club version of “these guys are good.”  Optimistic to the last shot. 

[Scottbox]

I have experience with this. A few thoughts:

 

1. Meditation and breathing (both on and off the course) help bring awareness to your mind and body.

 

2. Therapy is always helpful at any age. Again, you bring awareness to the source of the issues.

 

3. If it's medically safe for you, there's nothing wrong with using a beta-blocker like Propanolol. If that's something you'd consider, talk to a qualified medical professional and make sure it's safe for you.

 

 

Edited October 17, 2021 by Scottbox

[joekelli]

 

Here is a post my friend Kevin Kraft that he posted on facebook about his journey to cope with anxiety. I have caddied for him on occasion in the last couple of years and he has done a great job of keeping things in check. Anyway I thought it was a pretty good read...

 

 

When I quit tournament golf in 2008, I was a wreck. In January of 2008 I got an IRS letter telling me I was going to be audited. I had accountants, so how bad could it be. They'd have done their job and have me all squared up. Except they didn't do their jobs. Not even close. And that's when it started.

The yips. The yips are a mental condition that physically manifests itself by causing the body to essentially self-sabotage what a golfer is trying to do. They are most often associated with touch shots. Putting, especially short putts or chip shots around the greens. That's not how mine manifested themselves.

For me, it was the most powerful swing, and the thing I was best at, driving, that got stripped from me. I experienced extreme tension in my downswing that made it physically impossible for me to square the club properly. I had two shots at my disposal: a 90 yard block to the right and a 60 yard snap hook to the left. There was no middle ground.

Mine showed up on the second hole of the first event I played that year. I was warming up for another season on the Korn Ferry Tour out in Arizona. I had blocked my first tee shot a bit but thought nothing of it. I got to my ball, knocked it on the green and made par. I went to the second hole, one that was almost driveable for my warning-track power and I promptly hit the ball 90 yards right into the desert. I did the "pro" thing. Looked at my club. Wondered what the hell just happened. I went out into the desert, found my ball. I wasn't under a cactus, so I knocked it on the green, two putted and made par. When I went to the third tee, I wasn't sure what was going on. My tee shot on #3 went 90 yards right again. My brain exploded. Figuratively, of course.

Fast forward to 2015. I hadn't played competitive golf for 7 years. I decided I wanted to attempt to play a tournament again. I entered the qualifier for the Pennsylvania Open. I didn't know what was going to happen. Could I hit a driver again? What would I shoot? 69? 89? It could go either way.

I was fortunate that I didn't have to hit drivers at this course. First hole was a little dogleg left par-4 that I could use a 3-wood off the tee. I made a 30 footer for birdie to restart my tournament career. Incredible! I got to the 2nd tee box and it is a straight away par-5. Total driver hole. My mind shut down. I literally could not pull the driver out of the bag. I was scared to death. I hit a good 3-wood and would go on to make another birdie.

I would actually hit two drivers that day. Both on par-5's. Both with decent results. Played those two holes one under par. And while I was anxious, I kept making good swings and ended up shooting 69 and qualifying for the PA Open.

Shortly thereafter I went to Ohio to play another event. I didn't have a caddy with me for this one. My anxiety was ramped up with nobody to keep me in check. Again, the golf swing was good. I made a ton of putts. I was scared, but I just kept swinging. I shot 64 and would win in a playoff. I hadn't shot a score like that in 8 years. I was thrilled. Flabberghasted, but thrilled.

The anxiety started to wane. The more I played, the better it got. By the time I won the PA Open in 2018, it was gone. I was free to pull out the driver most any time. Though there have always been holes that I just know I cannot pull the driver out. The yips are never going away. But I have figured out how to manage them.

Fast forward again to 2021. After not playing much in 2019 and 2020 due to work commitments and Covid, the anxiety started to come back. I did, however, still manage to qualify for the US Senior Open at Omaha Country Club. I know the driver yips are still there, but as I said, they are mostly managed. A new yip has started to take hold. Long, lag putts have become very difficult for me. I'm still working through how to make that go away. I may have found the answer, I just haven't had any events to put it to a real test. We shall see in 2022. The problem is the anxiety. And it showed all through the summer and out in Omaha.

On my way out to Omaha for the US Senior Open it was a great road trip. Had one of my best friends with me as we made the 17 hour journey. A lot of fun. I had all the support in the world. Everyone was so excited for the event. And so was I. But I was scared. It went beyond anxiety. I would get the shakes thinking about what was coming up. Playing in front of crowds that were now allowed back on the courses at events. Playing along side the likes of Ernie Els, Bernhard Langer, Freddy Couples...I was so afraid of what would happen, even with a long track record of being able to play through the gobbledegook that plays out in my head. By the time we approached Omaha, I was in complete fight or flight mode and I wanted to flight. I wanted to turn around, withdraw from the tournament and just go home.

I was really fortunate that a series of events that transpired on site at the Senior Open went a long way to calming me down. It got better as I spent some time on the range. I relied heavily on my caddy, John Wilkins. I don’t know what I would have done without him. Seriously. He knew my history and what he (and we) were getting into. My biggest fear was what would happen on the first tee. Could I take the club back? Would I be able to get the ball airborne? Was I going to shoot 90? The anxiety was bad, but I've been able to play through it. I had a great time at the U.S. Senior Open. Making the cut in my first professional major is just incredible. One of the truly amazing experiences of my golf career. I wish I could have enjoyed it a little more. Maybe in the next one I can be anxiety free. I'll keep working on solutions. It's all I can do. I love tournament golf. I don't want to quit. I have to face these challenges head on and do what I can to keep myself moving forward. And as this article makes very clear...I'm not alone.

 

https://www.golfdigest.com/story/golf-mental-health?fbclid=IwAR3Nak7BY6g_Dd_HMp07-WiwVR2vqjRFMoykC9b6YrrCiDRj9lC2HV6qV5o

[Exactice808]

I dont think posting after the above post is going to even dent this topic as WOW, the Kevin Kraft story is amazing regarding golf and even such a high level of play. But If I could share my humble hacker story. That might help someone else?

 

The Back Story,
10 years Army, 2 rotations in the sandbox, I had a unique job within  a team of 12, part of a greater mission.  (no no, no Hollywood stuff) But we did 426 combat mission, and drover 40,000 miles from Kuwait border to the Syrian Border almost non stop.  It was intense to say the least.  I made it back with my team and all my appendages. I was lucky we were lucky.  Anyways coming back home was tough,  I was engaged to be married,  4 months after I came back my father suddenly passed due to complications in surgery. My world began to fall apart.  The PTSD went full blast, social anxieties, Panic attacks, Anxiety attacks, Then my Fiancé left me.  My life spiraled out of control. I crawled into a bottle and nearly drowned.

I got help fortunately,  3 years at the VA and an amazing Psychologist got me through the worst of it. But the up hill struggle was there.  I got introduced to golf on a regular basis about 14 years ago, meaning prior it was just going to the range with Grandpas old blades and try and hit the ball picker. Now it was part of my Job. 

Intro to Golf,
Golf became an amazing tool to help my anxiety and social issues.  I was able to get out in the public but NOT in crowded areas which I struggled the most,  Hey the course is open air, not a mall.  Next was the focus,  Golf is SO FREAKING HARD, you have to concentrate. This was distractions to the PTSD and the Panic attacks.  Anxiety and Panic attacks are hypersensitivities to self indulged catastrophes.  Sometimes everything was a catastrophe and the fight or flight would kick in.

 

18th hole, 3ft put with my buddies to win or lose...... The Panic would set it,  The cold sweats, the elephant on the chest, the struggle to breath,  The hands shaking. WTF is going on, I have been in direct combat.  I have been shot at, blown up and I am freaking out over a 3ft putt WTF!!!!!

Fight or Flight,
Thats when the further learning began.  PTSD, anxiety, panic takes all forms and affects EVERYONE, from spilling milk, to a car accident, to making a 3ft putt for a championship, or beer. ITS THE SAME.  My body had no Idea it was not in Iraq. It just knew it was scared, it was stressed and it needed to protect itself through its fight or flight.


What I know now,

Understanding CBT( Cognitive behavioral training) is the art of De-catastrophizing.  When your mind takes over and your body reacts, You need to talk your mind out of the "seeming" catastrophe.  I have a headache, why do I have a headache, holy crap am I having a stroke, or is it a tumor, OMG, I need to see a doctor, Oh the headache is worst I need to call an ambulance. I NEED HELP NOW!!!!!!.... but in reality, I was making it WAY worse than it really was.

This 3ft putt is to win, I need to make this 3ft putt, If I dont, I will let me friend down, OMG, then I have to hear it at the bar, Crap I need also pay this bet and that bet.  Man do I have enough money in my bag if I miss this.  This is going to be embarrassing.  STFU already and make the putt.  Then a rush shot, out of rhythm and your normal tempo sends the ball wide.

 

 

What I do,
Its not perfect, I still have panic attacks and anxiety attacks. But it does not end me up in the hospital ot ER, or me running away/avoiding events, just to escape it, like it used to.   I work mentally through the de catastrophizing stage.  A panic attack is like a kid throwing a fit,  You have to take control and talk it down, Calm it down  and nurture it.  You have to prove that its not as bad as you are making it out to be.

this is a 3ft putt that I have made a million times, Its no biggie

So what if I miss,  We have something to laugh and talk about

We are going to play again next week I can get my revenge then.
Its only money, or beers or whatever... So what, 

Talk it down, its a kid throwing a fit.


back in 2008 I walked off the course due to the anxiety,  2009 I had a massive panic attack on the 18th hole over a putt. hit the ball and did what I had to do to finish the hole and left, ran to the car and had hyperventilated in there for almost 20 minutes while my friends were freaking out what happened.  

Now 2021, I play golf like every normal hacker, I have fun, drink, yell and scream I still suck at it, but I basically have a normal life now on the course. SURE, I still have anxieties, but going through SO much now, I am able to control the attacks.  I am able to manage the attacks.  I can live with the attacks rather than running away from them or at worse medicating them away.  Its a liberating feeling.


Now if only I can get good at actually playing golf thats another story........ 

I hope this story helps someone even just a little!  GL to those that struggle with this,  I truly understand and wish you peace.


 

 

Edited October 22, 2021 by Exactice808

[mmakowski]

Try to shut off your ego. Don't worry about results, tell yourself you are fine with whatever it is and you don't care what other people think