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Hi everyone. A bit intimidating because it feels like everyone posting has these incredible kids who are on track to play in college / professionally! But, what better place to learn? My son is 8 and has been playing golf for year. He's signed up for his first US Kids local tournament this weekend and we're both looking forward to it. My question is simple, as I have no idea where this leads or how far he even wants to take golf. But as your kids embarked on their golf journeys, what are thing things you know now that you wish you knew then? Both for the kids and parents... I have no idea what to expect - I just know I'm stoked to caddie for my son and I think he actually might be even more excited that I have to carry his bag for nine holes!

 

Thanks!

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Like kekoa says, I keep learning every time we go out. My son also started at 5, now he is 8. If your son sticks to tmnts and is playing often you probably will see a pretty rapid improvement in his game. If you are not careful, you may find yourself taking it all to serious too soon too quick. As our old local tour director says “calm down, they do not give out college scholarships for 8 year olds”. If he progresses to the higher level kids tmnts , remember that. Most on here who have been at it for at least a few years would probably admit to overstepping a time or two. IMO , At the younger ages a local tour win (or last place ), a regional tmnt win (or last place , or even a world championship win (or last place) are only as meaningful as whatever lesson that they learned through it - be it a success or a failure. My personal approach for now is to give him the resources and encouragement that he needs to have a chance succeed at whatever his current level is and reach his goals (to build confidence, perseverance, grit, etc. )in a way that is fun and stimulating which hopefully cultivates a love of the game so that IF , when he reaches real Junior golf age (13+or so) he wants to make it his focus then he has the passion and solid baseline skillset to take a good run at it. Worst case, and probably most likely case , is that he learned some good life lessons through the game and you’ve helped cultivate a love for a lifetime game that you both can enjoy and share together for The rest of your life together. I have a picture at my desk of a father and (grown adult ) son walking down a fairway together to help remind me.

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I still remember our first tournament and first shot like it was yesterday. Fat toe driver dead right into the thick weeds. oh that really was a fun day. But as they all have said you learn more and more each day. Hard to think where we were a year a go or even six months vs now. At the younger ages big picture it doesn't mean anything. Just take lessons away from each tournament and grow from it. I know for sure we did "tournament" golf too soon for my daughter but not sure I would have changed that as that helped her grow with the game and learn to compete. My biggest lesson came from equipment is to not buy toy box sets and stick with USKG or Flynn for younger kids.

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My 2 cents - manage expectations each round and throughout the journey even if they show glimpses of high-level potential. Know that they don’t want to make mistakes either. Probably the two things that are most difficult to tell yourself every time there’s a silly mistake (in your eyes). It’s been 5 years and I still have to tell myself these two things from time to time.

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First tournament is always rough. Don’t let that discourage you. Most important thing is to stick with it.

 

Word of advice keep golf fun don’t worry about how you place focus on improving every time. Small goals go a long way and keep things in Perspective. A lot parents go overboard at younger kids events. The kids winning today will not be in 5 years because there focusing on the easy stuff that allows you to win on short easy courses and not addressing things that take time to learn. Always focus what is best for long term development.

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Thanks all. It's been a huge learning experience because my older son has always been super talented in sports but is the care-free type and so I've had to push him in soccer and baseball to work hard. My younger son, who's the one into golf now, is a polar opposite. Smaller, scrappier, crazy strong work ethic and patience... he's the kid that can spend 5 hours at the putting green and basically chip and putt all day and have the time of his life. I've had to learn that he's so hard on himself, I have to go entirely 180 and be 100% supportive because otherwise it just spirals. So I've imparted a few things on him ahead of this tournament, some of which is my read on him and some is pulled from your various thoughts.:

1) I don't care if you win or or not. Have fun, enjoy having me caddy and keep your emotions in check

2) The next few years aren't about winning or losing. It's about discovering whether you truly love golf and enjoy playing it and figuring out what your goals are. Once you reach 12 - 13, let's talk about where we take it

3) I won't criticize any shot and neither should you get too annoyed on the course. You're going to make mistakes... but it will be because you're 8 and human, not because of lack of preparation or carelessness. You've done everything you can in the weeks / months leading up to the tournament so just go out and do what you are capable of

4) And finally, he loves minigolf. So i told him that if he finishes last or better, we'll be sure to go out for ice cream and minigolf afterwards :)

All this is so much easier said than done, as a tiger parent... but I'm going to be trying real hard to be one of those good dads and not one of the crazy ones you see in every sport!

 

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We have a couple of neighbors who play in the local PGA team events, and my son wants to play next year, and I'm all for that. I'm just curious, though, on the rules in these tournaments. I've played with them and the younger kid whiffed quite a bit, moved his ball around and didn't add up his strokes exactly. Not criticizing him as he's just a kid, but just wondering are whiffs and inadvertent ball movement penalized in tournaments, and who keeps up with the score, because it can get up into the low teens on some holes? Seems like you'd have to have one adult for each kid to count all the strokes. Again, I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way. I'm just curious about how tournaments are officiated.

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> @bermuda said:

> We have a couple of neighbors, 7 and 13, who play in the local PGA team events, and my 6-year-old wants to play next year, and I'm all for that. I'm just curious, though, on the rules in these tournaments. I've played with the 7- and 13-year-old, and the younger kid whiffed quite a bit, moved his ball around and didn't add up his strokes exactly. Not criticizing him as he's just a kid, but just wondering are whiffs and inadvertent ball movement penalized in tournaments, and who keeps up with the score, because it can get up into the low teens on some holes? Seems like you'd have to have one adult for each kid to count all the strokes. Again, I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way. I'm just curious about how tournaments are officiated.

 

Just my opinion.... If a kid whiffs at the ball he probably shouldn't be playing in a tournament situation, even at 6 or 7 years old. Each tour is going to have different rules. US Kids local every stroke counts. There is a limit of 10 strokes. Have never seen a kid get a 10 on each hole.

I am GenX.  If you really think I care about what you have to say, I don't.

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> @bermuda said:

> We have a couple of neighbors, 7 and 13, who play in the local PGA team events, and my 6-year-old wants to play next year, and I'm all for that. I'm just curious, though, on the rules in these tournaments. I've played with the 7- and 13-year-old, and the younger kid whiffed quite a bit, moved his ball around and didn't add up his strokes exactly. Not criticizing him as he's just a kid, but just wondering are whiffs and inadvertent ball movement penalized in tournaments, and who keeps up with the score, because it can get up into the low teens on some holes? Seems like you'd have to have one adult for each kid to count all the strokes. Again, I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way. I'm just curious about how tournaments are officiated.

 

US Kids has a maximum stroke of 10 per hole. I'd be surprised if the local PGA didn't have a maximum.

If a kid is new and inadvertently racking up strokes, I tend to turn a blind eye and focus more on the clock but that's just me.

 

 

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I didn’t put my kids into a local US Kids event until they could shoot 55 or better on 9 holes. That was the barometer that I used to tell me that they were ready. If you can’t shoot 55 for 9 holes then you are probably holding people up and I didn’t want that. Others may feel different but that was my take.

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@heavy_hitter thanks for the wishes. I misstated in my first post - the tournament is this weekend. been working on his putting and chipping but otherwise, just letting him have fun. truth be told, i'm probably far more nervous than he will be... hopefully he'll just hit a nice first tee shot and then be off to the races!

 

and yeah, i'll be making him tee up for sure. and have been working with him on alignment and just going to let him make the calls.

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Just make sure he has fun. First, second, or last place (shh doesnt matter). Make it an ice cream night or Slurpee on the parents.

My son started playing golf a couple of years ago serious. He played his first tournament last year and it was WAY to serious. 200 AJGA kids I think he was shell shocked.

This year my daughter wanted to start playing at 13. My son caddied for her and we ate ice cream after. She couldn't wait for the next one.

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> @TripleBogeysrbetter said:

> Just make sure he has fun. First, second, or last place (shh doesnt matter). Make it an ice cream night or Slurpee on the parents.

> My son started playing golf a couple of years ago serious. He played his first tournament last year and it was WAY to serious. 200 AJGA kids I think he was shell shocked.

> This year my daughter wanted to start playing at 13. My son caddied for her and we ate ice cream after. She couldn't wait for the next one.

@TripleBogeysrbetter - for sure! I promised my son minigolf and ice cream as long as he finishes last place or better. I think he is still scratching his head trying to figure out whether I am messing with him or have gone senile.

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> @dlc1914 said:

> Make sure he plays multiple sports over the coming years, not just golf.

 

@dlc1914 - yep. we are up the wazoo on sports. soccer in fall, basketball in winter, soccer again in spring, tennis sprinkled throughout. i have found it fascinating that some folks on the board don't have their kids play golf year round, so during the winter, i plan to taper him a bit, even if the weather in norcal is supportive of year round play.

 

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> @caligolfer2103 said:

> > @TripleBogeysrbetter said:

> > Just make sure he has fun. First, second, or last place (shh doesnt matter). Make it an ice cream night or Slurpee on the parents.

> > My son started playing golf a couple of years ago serious. He played his first tournament last year and it was WAY to serious. 200 AJGA kids I think he was shell shocked.

> > This year my daughter wanted to start playing at 13. My son caddied for her and we ate ice cream after. She couldn't wait for the next one.

> @TripleBogeysrbetter - for sure! I promised my son minigolf and ice cream as long as he finishes last place or better. I think he is still scratching his head trying to figure out whether I am messing with him or have gone senile.

 

Forgot but best of luck to him. Remind him after first hole or so the nerves will go away. Then its just golf. I had to remind my son before tournaments that its not a baseball game. You don't have to worry about the 6 foot kid throwing 75 MPH in little league.

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Thanks all! We had a great time today. I was definitely more nervous than he was... I knew he'd be ok once he hit his first drive solidly. I asked him if he was nervous and he said the only thing that worried him was on the 9th hole when he had to clear some water to get to the green. But the competitive aspect didn't faze him. Long story short, he shot a 41 (he's 8 so they play to about 2k yards over 9 on US Kids) and finished 5th. Winner shot 37. All said and done, we discussed over dinner and there were two downhill putts he'd like back, but otherwise he played as well as he could and so now it's just improving his distance and consistency to find the remaining strokes he needs to catch the competition.

 

I met a bunch of the parents during the day and was pleasantly surprised by how cool they were. I imagine it gets more serious as the kids get older, but on this day, it was a very friendly / collegial environment. Although I did hear that a 14 year old got caught trying to sneakily drop a ball rather than take a lost ball penalty.

 

Sadly, I do realize my caddying days may be short-lived. He's incredibly independent on the course and I can tell he'd rather make his own decision and live with the consequences, rather than listen to someone else and have that end up being bad advice... I now understand what Speith's caddie felt like on some holes, where I misread something :smile:

 

Anyhow, just wanted to report back after everyone's helpful insights. We learned a ton today, had a great time, won a model and took away some clear areas for improvement! We're hooked.

 

 

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This is great news. Yes for sure enjoy the ride. Wait until puberty when you will need to be around the 270-280 mark to help look for balls.

My son started later so we never did US Kids. Now he does mostly 36 hole events and you almost wanna just drop him off and come back later.

My daughter is younger and playing in state run events. Its a blast. I'm trying to enjoy each event more and more.

I'm able to caddy but prefer her to do it. That way we don't get into the blame game. "I thought it broke that way and you said this"

If she needs a ruling she can talk to her playing partners.

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