Golf friends vs. real life friends

[nikeblades00]

I just was wondering how common this is or isn't. Basically almost all of my golf friends, we have no relationships off the course. Even my main group of playing partners, some of us have been playing toghether for 15-20 years. I've never been to their houses, they haven't been to mine. Our kids and wives have maybe met in passing but nothing else. The only things we have done socially is attend PGA or LPGA events toghether.

 

I like these guys, most are really nice and all around good dudes. I just find it fascinating how our relationships are strictly golf!

[ShowMe]

16 minutes ago, nikeblades00 said:

I just was wondering how common this is or isn't. Basically almost all of my golf friends, we have no relationships off the course. Even my main group of playing partners, some of us have been playing toghether for 15-20 years. I've never been to their houses, they haven't been to mine. Our kids and wives have maybe met in passing but nothing else. The only things we have done socially is attend PGA or LPGA events toghether.

 

I like these guys, most are really nice and all around good dudes. I just find it fascinating how our relationships are strictly golf!

 

Sure, but you're spending 5 hours a week with them playing.  Probably a lot more than you spend with your non-golf friends each week.

[Carolina Golfer 2]

One of my most regular golf friends, I talk to several times a week.  He has been to my place ive been to his.  We have helped each other with projects away from the course. 
 

a couple others I work with, so I see them there.  Of course my work is at the golf course.  Ha 

[Soloman1]

I understand. Good observation and not something talked about. I'll bet you don't even talk about this with those golf friends. It would ruin it.

 

My username is derived from being kind of a solo guy, not wisdom, which is Solomon, not Soloman. Close friendships are hard because people can be disappointing. I've met too many people who's first thought is, "How can I make money off this guy."

[2bGood]

I only have golf friends. All my close friends are my golf buddies. We know each other's wives we have all been to each other's houses. We see lots of each other, go on trips a few times per year and socialise (a bit) outside of golf. 

 

The reality is I don't have time for non-golf friends. Work, family and golf.

 

 

[nikeblades00]

Some good points, golf is very time consuming. And many days I spend more time on the course with them, then I do my family.

 

I do have a tight knit group of 'real life' friends, dating back to HS and college. We all have somehow kept in touch even as some have  have moved all over the country. Interestingly none of them play golf. But they all know my passion for golf. 

 

As pointed out earlier, you are absolutely correct we never talk about any of this on the course. Just real thankful we have a friendship with very little expectations outside of golf and it works for all of us.

Edited September 24, 2021 by nikeblades00

[LeoLeo99]

16 minutes ago, 2bGood said:

I only have golf friends. All my close friends are my golf buddies. We know each other's wives we have all been to each other's houses. We see lots of each other, go on trips a few times per year and socialise (a bit) outside of golf. 

 

The reality is I don't have time for non-golf friends. Work, family and golf.

 

 

I'm trying to think if I have any friends outside of work that I don't golf with, at least now and then.  Don't think I do.  I'm like the opposite of Harvey Penick.  If you don't play golf, you're not my friend.  

[MtlJeff]

Hasn't really been the case for me. One of my first real golf friends from 20 years ago, we don't play together anymore as we switched courses and stuff and both moved...but he still manages my investments and stuff (that's his field). He's helping me with my mortgage now too

 

My current golf friends we do several BBQs and stuff every summer

[Kmagnuss]

Most of my friends here in FL are more into fishing/boating (I am too) and not golf.  The guys I've made friends with at the course are all great but they're mostly retired (I'm in my 40's) and we don't have much in common outside of golf.

 

-Mag

[kmay__]

Totally other end of the spectrum for me, I've only ever really played with people who are my friends to begin with. 

[Roody]

Most of my friends are golf friends. Some are ones that I only see on a golf course/in a golf bar, and that's it. Some my wife and I will go to dinner with them and their wives, but that's probably most of the extent of it. 

[mcounci2]

I think that's pretty common for any "hobby friends."  Golf friends, racing friends, shooting friends, 99% of them exist only at event venues.

[iknowbagu]

Never really thought about it before, but I guess I'm pretty lucky.  I think I've got a real good mix of golf friends, non-golf friends, and friends who fall into both categories.

[Abh159]

I have probably a dozen or so "golf friends". AKA people I play with regularly on the weekends. Of all of them there is really only 1 that I also spend time with away from the course, and I've known him since high school.

 

As a previous poster mentioned... I spend 5-10 hours a week playing golf with those guys so that is just as much if not more time than I spend with my friends who don't golf. 

 

The determining factor for making friends is typically a shared interest. I love golf (therefore have golf friends), but I also love other things so I have plenty of non-golf friends that I can do those things with also. 

[Hawkeye77]

All the guys I play golf with are friends, and I have plenty of friends who don't golf.  Golf is socializing.  Over the years most of my time away from work has been golfing with friends and golfing with family, and other than that family, family, family.  We're homebodies, except for our outdoor sports activities.

 

One of my very best buddies plays no golf, but his devotion is always "on point".

 

 

[TiScape]

16 hours ago, Soloman1 said:

I understand. Good observation and not something talked about. I'll bet you don't even talk about this with those golf friends. It would ruin it.

 

My username is derived from being kind of a solo guy, not wisdom, which is Solomon, not Soloman. Close friendships are hard because people can be disappointing. I've met too many people who's first thought is, "How can I make money off this guy."

From now on when I see your username I will think ‘solo man’. I use to think snow skis! 😂 (I know it’s spelled differently). 

[nikeblades00]

As someone said this is probably pretty common for sports/hobbies. 

 

I think other factors involved also determine how much time off the course. But even my golf friends we all care about each other,.text for birthdays, holidays etc.. we have some amazing conversations on the course. It's really unique and great friendships. 

 

But Tomorrow for example I'm taking my 2 kids to a real good 'real life' friend so our kids can hang out and us adults can watch college football! I'll obviously be checking Ryder cup scores on phone since he doesn't care! And Ironically he lives on a golf course!!!

Edited September 24, 2021 by nikeblades00

[cardoustie]

A mix for me, really from high school and university years … 81-92, only see 2 guys regularly

 

have about 20 good golf friends, trips etc 

[ArtMBgolf]

Most of my friend are golf only friends. 
  
Some are golf trip only friends, who are usually friends of my friends.   

[aenemated]

Had a great group in LA but we all split up - everyone kinda split to different places when we could due to COVID changing the landscape of work for nerds.

 

None of my friends in Vegas play - they’re all the degenerate musicians from my old days - so I’m back to solo most all the time. But that’s what appealed to me about golf in the first place; I could play on my own. So I dig it just fine.

[MattM97]

I don't really have golf friends, I do have a good list of people on my IG golf page that I chat with fairly often but we all live a ways away. A few of my personal friends play golf but they don't have the same interest  addiction to the game that I do. 

[deadsolid...shank]

When I was playing regularly I had two separate groups I played with. 
 

One group was pretty much just golf. Really the only interactions were golf related. Numerous trips together and such, but definitely went our separate ways after the golf. 
 

Second group is very much the “all around” friends. Been to their homes, kids graduations, etc. They traveled a fair distance for both my kids weddings. Even though I’ve moved away I still talk with these guys on a regular basis. 

[Justsomeguy]

This is an obsession. Our golf only friends are like fellow drinkers we hang out with at the bar.

[lchang]

 

[lchang]

A golf buddy of mine picked me up on a special day:  36 holes at a course 90 minutes away. We drove down and back together, shared a cart the whole time. 
 

When he picked me up in the morning, I went down to the garage, grabbed my clubs and met him in the driveway. During those 3 minutes he greeted my wife and exchanged pleasantries. 
 

When I got back—after spending something like 12 hours together talking and laughing the whole time—my wife says to me, “What do you think of his new job?”  Me:  “He got a new job?!”

[Moonlightgrm]

Wow, I was thinking about this just the other day. I did some counting and I have 7 guys that I play golf with on a regular basis. Only 2 of those guys have ever been to my house. One to shoot pool and one to play poker and those visits have been few and far between. I play golf about 4-days each week, so I am getting male companionship but it’s more competitive than social. The guys that I used to play golf with, growing up, have either moved away or passed away. Those guys were friends on and off of the golf course. My best friend lives 900-miles away and we communicate at least once per week via email, texts, or phone calls. I truly do not have one friend that I socialize with on a regular basis and that saddens me. My wife, however has a large group of girlfriends. They get together every week for lunch, or book club, and they spend a week at Cape Cod and a week in Maine every summer. There are dinners where the husbands are included, but those folks are merely acquaintances to me. It’s tough getting old. Cherish the friends that you have. 

[elwhippy]

Golf friends have got older, married, had kids etc so seeing them on the course accounts for about 95%. Off course I love rock music, comedy, theatre and the arts so happy to go with a completely different group. 

[Bonneville85308]

I don't have any friends who don't play golf.

 

The ones I met years ago when I was a private club member are my best friends and we still talk and meet each other regularly on and off a course, our non-golfing spouses socialize, plus we take golf trips together even though we all left that club and don't live in that area anymore.

 

My local public course friends tend to be golf-only friends. We talk about each others lives and what is going on outside of our golf, but we don't meet up anywhere other than to play golf.

[Pepperturbo]

On 9/23/2021 at 6:50 PM, nikeblades00 said:

I just find it fascinating how our relationships are strictly golf!

I believe that is rather common for many people. 

 

Some of the activities I used to be involved with required people with like minds and skills.  We tackled the sports or activities as kinda as teammates.  Yet we did NOT know each other away from our mutual activities.  That was true with CAT racing too.  It really depends on whether our personal beliefs and values were similar.

 

Today, my golf friends are close friends that date back to the 70s, a few to HS.  A few are clinical professionals and worked for me years back, but that was never made a habit. 

Edited September 25, 2021 by Pepperturbo

[nikeblades00]

11 hours ago, lchang said:

 

Haha I enjoyed this thread. Thanks for posting and very fitting!