Have you ever fell out of love with the game?

[mshills]

On 9/20/2023 at 9:21 AM, Hawkeye77 said:

NEVER

👍🏻

Thought the game had been taken away from me. Didn’t / couldn’t play for 3 years and didn’t realize how much I missed it until I figured out how to play again. Grateful every time I put a tee in #1.  

[Hawkeye77]

10 minutes ago, mshills said:

👍🏻

Thought the game had been taken away from me. Didn’t / couldn’t play for 3 years and didn’t realize how much I missed it until I figured out how to play again. Grateful every time I put a tee in #1.  

So glad you did!!

[Kingdog]

On 9/20/2023 at 6:43 AM, bm11 said:

I was there for a while. Stuck in a place where I was miserable but couldn't quit. You could search my old posts, I made some here (and rightly got some backlash for my point of view.)

 

I did quit, mid to late last season. For a week, before I took up golf all over again, as a righty (first six years were as a lefty.) This time I went in with no expectations, and a resolution to enjoy it regardless of quality of play. It was the best move I could have ever made. I'm actually playing some of the best golf I've ever played right now (which isn't saying much score wise) but more importantly, I enjoy it and I look forward to it. 

 

One thing to try if you haven't already- read or listen to the audio book of "Golf is Not a Game of Perfect." I learned a lot about how to approach the game and even each shot mentally, and it has made a world of difference in my quality of play. I definitely was guilty of getting in my own head and stringing together bad shots into bad holes into bad rounds when the right mentality is to approach every shot the same way- "this is the only shot that matters, and none of the prior shots have any effect on the outcome of this shot." I definitely had a habit of writing off a hole and even a round after a bad shot or two, writing them off well before it was over. 

Wanted to give an update. Thanks for all the suggestions and it feels good to see others have struggled in similar ways. This suggestion just might have changed my golf life. Played nine holes on Saturday and put this into play. Definitely had a couple of bad shots that would have sent me into a tailspin but just said nope that shot is done nothing I can do about it lets tackle this recovery out of the trees the best we can. Shot 3 over par. Just shook my head at the end at the results. I'm sure there's some recency bias involved but going out after work tonight for another 9 with my son excited to see how I play. It is so true what they say this game is 90% mental haha.

[bm11]

53 minutes ago, Kingdog said:

Wanted to give an update. Thanks for all the suggestions and it feels good to see others have struggled in similar ways. This suggestion just might have changed my golf life. Played nine holes on Saturday and put this into play. Definitely had a couple of bad shots that would have sent me into a tailspin but just said nope that shot is done nothing I can do about it lets tackle this recovery out of the trees the best we can. Shot 3 over par. Just shook my head at the end at the results. I'm sure there's some recency bias involved but going out after work tonight for another 9 with my son excited to see how I play. It is so true what they say this game is 90% mental haha.

Awesome, glad to hear it! Sunday I was able to successfully keep the mindset going after a rough front myself. I shot 9 strokes better on the back and ended up with my best ever righty round when it was all said and done! In the past, I totally would have been frustrated at the turn and shot 15 strokes higher for the round. 

[Mikey_HACKilroy]

I gave up golf for an hour today before talking to my dad about setting up a round on Thursday. 😄

I guess it's just the way it goes when you're on your first year back. I'll practice on the range the day before a round and everything will be fine. Then I'll play a round and it is as if I haven't played golf before. Then I'll have a good 9 holes before Jekyll and Hyde'ing the back nine. Still yet, I'll have practice sessions where I feel like the God of Golf...... Followed up by the next range where everything..... again.... stinks......

Today, I wanted to beat my bag with the 3-iron.... But fortunately today I don't participate in that nonsense... LOL

Then I got home and texted my dad about Thursday.

 

Honestly, there are days where I think I should give it a rest for a few weeks just to let my hands recover. Not because I want to quit, though. It's just hard when you know what you're capable of and have such good days, and then follow it up inexplicably with the most rotten of dog s*** day after day.... and can't seem to get back to good days.... Then you do, and it's great and then... it's well..... ahem... Anyways.... Golf is hard but I still love the game LOL......... 😄 😄

 

[NoTalentLefty]

Yes. When going thru a difficult divorce and later when i remarried and had a son. First time I came to realize within a year that self loathing and giving up golf  wasn’t the answer . The second was strictly voluntary and didn’t miss it for 4 years during his early years. After that never again.

[Loki]

I have a couple times. Not including every end of August as I have played enough in the spring and summer.

 

The most recent was the last couple of years due to COVID and because of a surgery I had last August that had my game going south. It got so bad that I was thinking of ways to get out of the trip to Scotland this past June a month before the trip. Would have lost $1,000's. But had a great time, played bucket list courses, including The Old Course in Scottish weather, hit two pins at Kingsbarns, etc. Had a huge travel issue getting over there that almost ruined the trip for half of us, but that is a different thread.

 

Hoping to get below my all time low hcp of 6.5 next year. Was a14 early this year and ended the year as an 11. So I am back loving the game again.

[CoachZee]

Yes, mainly due to life events.   I still play and continue to fiddle with clubs etc, but I would say that I truly miss being passionate about the game.  I miss remembering every single shot, miss getting excited about playing, miss just being in love with anything and anything golf.  Not sure if I will ever find that passion back.  

[mvvraz]

On 9/26/2023 at 3:00 AM, Mikey_HACKilroy said:

I gave up golf for an hour today before talking to my dad about setting up a round on Thursday. 😄

I guess it's just the way it goes when you're on your first year back. I'll practice on the range the day before a round and everything will be fine. Then I'll play a round and it is as if I haven't played golf before. Then I'll have a good 9 holes before Jekyll and Hyde'ing the back nine. Still yet, I'll have practice sessions where I feel like the God of Golf...... Followed up by the next range where everything..... again.... stinks......

Today, I wanted to beat my bag with the 3-iron.... But fortunately today I don't participate in that nonsense... LOL

Then I got home and texted my dad about Thursday.

 

Honestly, there are days where I think I should give it a rest for a few weeks just to let my hands recover. Not because I want to quit, though. It's just hard when you know what you're capable of and have such good days, and then follow it up inexplicably with the most rotten of dog s*** day after day.... and can't seem to get back to good days.... Then you do, and it's great and then... it's well..... ahem... Anyways.... Golf is hard but I still love the game LOL......... 😄 😄

 

That's the hardest part about golf... especially when your ambitions are higher than your current skill level. Went through a few swing changes in June, and the following three months I legitimately broke 80 twice, and barely. 

 

Just "got" it back last weekend, and even though I made some silly mistakes I shot a 74 80 79 from the black tees at a competition, felt great. Everything just kind of made sense again

 

Hoping that I'll be able to finally shoot under par again in the upcoming week or two as I will be competing at some easier courses this time around 

[SurfDuffer]

I'm there right now.  Used to play and practice at least 5 days a week.  The flood of new golfers clogging the course during Covid was the first strike.  Losing a golf buddy the second.  Then last year I started having lower back issues that pretty much only happen when I play golf.  My membership went almost entirely unused this year and I'm considering dropping it in January.  The last time I played was in late July and besides the three day recovery for my back I injured my wrist to boot.  Haven't had even the slightest desire to pick up a club since.

[NJpatbee]

I never hated the game, but hated the way I played it.  I got so frustrated that I gave it up for a year and devoted more time to fly fishing and fly tying which I was pretty good at.  I fished a small trout stream that bordered a golf course and it got me thinking.  I came back to the game and worked harder than I ever had and become somewhat adequate (14 HCP) and enjoyed the hell out of it.  Today, health issues have me off the course (and stream) but I am still seeking treatment to get back on the course. I miss it terribly!

[So_Cal]

Honestly I could take a break.  Only played a few rounds over the past few months and I’m fine with it.  Golf has gotten so crowded, slow and expensive that there are other things I’d rather do.  I like playing top 100 private golf but that’s just not realistic on a weekly basis. 

[st1800e]

Today, on my way to a score probably 20 over my handicap. Fat, thin, slices, then a badly pull hooked drive on 18 into the drink. Ok, I’m done, take 2 weeks off and then quit…

 

With 200 over water, into the wind, to the green , I had to lay up, flushed a wedge to the perfect spot, then flushed a gap wedge to 3’.  

What’s the tee time tomorrow ? 

[Naptime]

Sure, more than once.

[bigred90gt]

On 9/26/2023 at 6:42 PM, CoachZee said:

Yes, mainly due to life events.   I still play and continue to fiddle with clubs etc, but I would say that I truly miss being passionate about the game.  I miss remembering every single shot, miss getting excited about playing, miss just being in love with anything and anything golf.  Not sure if I will ever find that passion back.  

This is where I'm at currently.

 

I started playing in 2003 at 23 years old, so I didnt grow up playing. It was a way for me to spend time with my uncle, and I quickly fell in love with the game. Since that time,  not counting the two times I had back surgery or when I was offshore working, I dont think I have gone more than a week without playing golf. I've been as low as a 2 index, and after my first back surgery it took me nearly a year to break 90. I managed to get back to around a 7 handicap, then it happened all over again. The second one was 2014, and I've played consistently since then and managed to keep a 6 handicap for several years. I am probably the most inconsistent 6 handicap you'll ever meet. I hit around 30% of fairways and greens on average, and shoot anywhere from 75-88 depending on the day. I am never happy with anything more than 80-81, but it's just a game. 

 

In april, I had been playing pretty poorly and managed to shoot a 92 and enjoyed absolutely nothing about the day. The next week, with the same group, I put up a 94 and enjoyed less than the week before. I decided I needed a break, and put the clubs in the closet for 3 months. Broke them out one day and managed to shoot a 78 first round back, then a few weeks later an 81. I have only played 5 rounds since April, and honestly, at this point I really just dont miss it. 

 

Back when I was playing a bunch, I walked quite a bit. I had a push cart, because carrying my bag was painful on my back, but I still walked. I enjoyed it. Even when my friends would ride, I still walked. When I got remarried in 207, my wife started playing and she has zero desire to walk the course. I think I have walked 2, maybe 3 rounds since then, and honestly I think that takes away some of the enjoyment for me. I dont want to discourage her from playing, and she wont play if I'm going to walk, so that doesnt really help anything lately. 

 

One of these days, I'm certain I'll get back to playing with some kind of regularity, and I do still enjoy tinkering with clubs and things, I just don't know if I'll ever get back to a point where all I can think about is the next time I can get to the course. And I'm ok with that currently. 

[Retrop1]

On 9/20/2023 at 12:38 AM, Kingdog said:

Have been a golf nut since I was 10 years old. Our seasons are short here on the prairies in Canada so every spring in April around Masters time I would get so excited for another 6 short months of golf. Now I think I'm taking next year off completely and maybe permanently. 

 

I had a golf trip this summer that I have been planning for 5 years. 5 bucket list courses in the Rocky Mountains in 4 days with close friends and relatives. I played terrible. Got so frustrated with my play I broke the shaft on my 5 iron. After the trip I didn't play for a month and a half. And honestly had no desire to play. My Dad invited me out this past weekend for a quick 9 holes. Sleepwalked to a 51. Didn't feel anything.

 

Guy's I might be done with a game I've loved for 40 years of my life. Has anyone else ever felt this way before? Did it pass? My wife is ecstatic about getting her husband for a whole year next year and I don't blame her. She deserves it after putting up with the game for 25 years of marriage.  Honestly if I received a email tonight informing me that I won a all expenses paid trip to Bandon Dunes a place I have dreamed about going to I would probably pass. I feel like what's the point I would play terrible. Anyone else been in this dark place? I hope not it doesn't feel good.

I have been playing for 30+ years and I have had it happen a couple times. My longest break was a little less than a year, the other was about a month. Both times just frustrated with my inability to play to my expectations. What helped me was getting my expectations in a more realistic place. I am getting older, have psoriatic arthritis, take an immuno suppressant for that, have my own business, have 2 kids, have a (very understanding) wife, have other family obligations. I cannot expect to shoot the same scores as I did when I was 25 and playing 4-5 days a week (on a much simpler golf course), felt way better physically, and was pretty much living an unburdened life. 

 

For me, I had to change my mindset. I got into the habit of associating my golf scores with my worth as a person. I think a lot of golfers do that. Now, I play golf for the challenge and I accept my game for what it is, while still trying to be the best I can. When I go to the course, I try to go in with an attitude of discovery. "What can I do today, in these conditions, on this course"? When I am done with a bad round, I go home and I am just fine. When I am done with a good round, I do the same but am grateful for the good rounds when they happen. The result of that is getting me back close to my lowest hcp ever, with a much lower rate of "blow up" rounds. 

 

As an interesting aside, while changing my approach, I have watched much less golf on tv. I used to be the guy who watched Golf Channel all day every day. The instruction pieces put too many thoughts in my head and the tournament coverage/opinion shows put unrealistic expectations in my head. Getting away from that I think was a very important part of the process for me. The game I love, and the entertainment product on television, they are two different things.

 

I hope this helps.

[Retrop1]

On 9/28/2023 at 1:21 PM, So_Cal said:

  Golf has gotten so crowded, slow and expensive that there are other things I’d rather do.  I like playing top 100 private golf but that’s just not realistic on a weekly basis. 

This. This is so true. I live in an area that advertises as "the golf capital of the world". We don't have any top 100 private clubs, but thankfully we do have a few pretty nice ones. The public golf here, even during the off season is slow and ends up costing me more per round than being a member of a private club. I do play 2-3 times a week but at my club the pace is so nice and my wife and I can enjoy a late Sunday afternoon 9 without being stuck with someone else and basically have the course to ourselves. This past weekend, we had a group of 4 both days, with 2 walkers both days. We finished in 3:30 on Saturday and in 3:55 Sunday (we let 2 singles go through). If it were not for this, I would probably play 1/3 of the golf I currently do. 

[Mikey_HACKilroy]

I guess I'm glad there are enough courses around here where I can play without worrying too much about having to do a lot of waiting. Yeah, we wait at times and sometimes a round takes a while, but the rule is still 4hrs max which is fine for a busy Sunday. Longer? Rare.

Falling out of love with the sport is strictly difficulty related... I'm not as exceptional of a golfer as it seems there are around here, so I get mad when I have bad days whether on the course or on the range and it lasts a little bit and then I give it another go. It's good when it gets better and I get excited for the next time out.

Then it stinks and I get mad and mutter to myself on the way home before giving it a rest for a few days and suddenly wanting to go back again. It's a really weird sport. 😛

[Mcgeeno]

This one I can say "Definitely not" with full honesty.

 

Golf was there when my mom died, when my job sucked, when my marriage was having trouble at times. It was my therapy during some really tough moments. I doubt that will ever change.

 

I've had friends who stopped playing once they hit the 'single digit wall' and I had to find others to play with or play by myself. I've travelled the world and played some amazing rounds all over the place. All of it was memorable. 

 

A ton of turmoil and change has happened in my 40 years (just like most of you I assume) and to steal a good quote or snippet, golf was always the shining beacon for me in the dark. Others found a bottle or a church or the gym and I went out to the course. 

[bonvivantva]

On 9/20/2023 at 12:38 AM, Kingdog said:

Have been a golf nut since I was 10 years old. Our seasons are short here on the prairies in Canada so every spring in April around Masters time I would get so excited for another 6 short months of golf. Now I think I'm taking next year off completely and maybe permanently. 

 

I had a golf trip this summer that I have been planning for 5 years. 5 bucket list courses in the Rocky Mountains in 4 days with close friends and relatives. I played terrible. Got so frustrated with my play I broke the shaft on my 5 iron. After the trip I didn't play for a month and a half. And honestly had no desire to play. My Dad invited me out this past weekend for a quick 9 holes. Sleepwalked to a 51. Didn't feel anything.

 

Guy's I might be done with a game I've loved for 40 years of my life. Has anyone else ever felt this way before? Did it pass? My wife is ecstatic about getting her husband for a whole year next year and I don't blame her. She deserves it after putting up with the game for 25 years of marriage.  Honestly if I received a email tonight informing me that I won a all expenses paid trip to Bandon Dunes a place I have dreamed about going to I would probably pass. I feel like what's the point I would play terrible. Anyone else been in this dark place? I hope not it doesn't feel good.

 

That's rough.  I've been in a similar place.  During covid, I broke 90 for the first time and though it would be a good time to take lessons and really try to dial in my game.  I found an instructor on the golfdigest best in your state list, very well recognized, and it completely screwed up my game.  In the first lesson he changed path, grip, stance, everything.  I went from a long left miss to barely advancing the ball.  Before lessons my 8i went 155 on average.  Even today I bet it only goes about 130.  Just totally lost the athleticism in my game.  Here I am 3 years later almost, thousands of dollars down the drain in lessons, and I'm only starting to regain any hope.  I just got back from a golf trip a couples weeks ago.  It's the first time since that first lesson that I've been anything but dreading a round.  Not that I played great.  I think I shot 100 twice, 89, and 97 on the trip.  But I played well enough to have fun with my friends, and after 3 years of abject failure, that's enough for now.

 

If I was playing just for me, I would have quit.  I'd probably be too embarrassed to accept a Bandon trip right now myself.  But golf is so much a part of my friends group and our reason for socializing that I couldn't quit.  Like it or not, I'm stuck with golf, so I just have to grin and bear it.  It's not easy to enjoy right now, but it's getting better.  One of my goals is to get good enough to play Ireland or Scotland with my dad before he's too old to walk the courses.  I may only have a couple years left to figure things out.  So I'm grinding and still hoping I can figure things out.  Hope things work out for you too.

[Port and Starboard]

I fell out of love with the game for 13 years.................sort of.   I watched but didn't play. 

 

Part of the reason was the housing bubble in 2007-2008.   The good wife and I went from a nice comfortable 120k a year combined to being unemployed within two weeks of each other. I was making 50K a year on top of my Navy retirement reading blueprints/estimating until then for a large drywall and metal framing company.  I didn't have time for the game anymore because I was in the Lowes or Home depot parking lot every day at 5:45 am picking up materials for side jobs to keep me afloat. 

 

I eventually turned it into a pretty successful LLC company but I still didn't have the time for the game.

 

I'm semi retired now, and back with a passion over the last 3 years.  Reconnecting with old golf friends has been the biggest reward.

 

 

 

 

[unluckybounce]

any time i go to the range, I leave miserable and wondering why i bother buying clubs and doing any of this crap. I don't think i've ever left a golf course miserable, even after the worst rounds. It's all about finding the stuff you enjoy and try to minimize the other.

[Roejye]

I'm kinda falling out of love with it right now. I only have 6 months of golf during the year, and that time is coming to an end, so I'm kinda mental gearing down. Combine that with this time of year also being the busiest time of year in my profession and this year has been very stressful.

 

I went to the course after work on Thursday just to try and get some stress relief, which was a mistake. Usually I'm pretty good at letting things roll off my back, but the long week at work combined with pretty much nothing going right on the course, lead to a bad day. I'm still wanting to get out again, but I'm not really jonesing for it. 

[Moonlightgrm]

I have never fallen out of love for the game of golf.

[kwcsports]

On 9/20/2023 at 1:38 AM, Kingdog said:

Have been a golf nut since I was 10 years old. Our seasons are short here on the prairies in Canada so every spring in April around Masters time I would get so excited for another 6 short months of golf. Now I think I'm taking next year off completely and maybe permanently. 

 

I had a golf trip this summer that I have been planning for 5 years. 5 bucket list courses in the Rocky Mountains in 4 days with close friends and relatives. I played terrible. Got so frustrated with my play I broke the shaft on my 5 iron. After the trip I didn't play for a month and a half. And honestly had no desire to play. My Dad invited me out this past weekend for a quick 9 holes. Sleepwalked to a 51. Didn't feel anything.

 

Guy's I might be done with a game I've loved for 40 years of my life. Has anyone else ever felt this way before? Did it pass? My wife is ecstatic about getting her husband for a whole year next year and I don't blame her. She deserves it after putting up with the game for 25 years of marriage.  Honestly if I received a email tonight informing me that I won a all expenses paid trip to Bandon Dunes a place I have dreamed about going to I would probably pass. I feel like what's the point I would play terrible. Anyone else been in this dark place? I hope not it doesn't feel good.

We've all been there. Take some time off and see what happens. Do not sell your clubs, you will play again.

[dan360]

Game, no.

 

Marketing, industry, and media, all the time. 

[Sir-Shanks-A-Lot]

Interesting discussion.

 

For my part, I never "fell out of love" with the game. Life just kind of got in the way about 8 years ago when I stopped. It was more a case of playing poorly and not finding that magic any more, combined with a number of bad life decisions coming home to roost at the same time. As we all know this is very expensive hobby, and one that requires a fair amount of mental clarity and good humor. Sadly, depression brought on by a financial crisis meant I had none of that, and couldn't play any more even if I had had the desire. It took time to get back on my feet but I'm happy to say that I am in a much batter place now. Credit to Lady-Shanks-A-Lot for giving me the push and encouragement to come back this summer after talking about it for nearly a year. I'm still not so great, but I find that with the different perspective I have on the game, and on life in general, I'm enjoying the process more than ever. And I'm actually hitting that damned ball farther than ever and more or less on target now! ...😅

 

Cheers guys ...

 

Edited November 6, 2023 by Sir-Shanks-A-Lot

[QuigleyDU]

I hit that moment on the course about 5 years ago. I was playing so bad and I was on like the 13 or 14th hole topped a drive, walked a few steps and wrapped my driver around a tree and drove to my car.. I was back it like 4 months later..

[OrangeCrush]

I don't know if "fall out of love" is the term but for the last 3 years I have been trying to grow my side business and at times, I am so busy that when I do have a breather, laying on the couch is all I want so gold became "very unimportant" to me!.  I played 7x this year and 4x each the 2 previous years.  I was hoping to play 10-12x but July-Nov is my money time so I just ran out of weekend time.

 

Here is the thing,  I appreciated it more when I did play and 6 of the 7rds I played as good if not better than I hoped.  I shoot 88-93 mostly many 90-91 rds,  I was shooting 90-91 with many lipped par putts,bad chip so felt like I was mid 80's playing so I couldn't be unhappy.  I am fiercely competitive with myself normally but once you slowed down to "smell the roses",  I seemed to like it more.

[edresnick]

On 9/20/2023 at 12:38 AM, Kingdog said:

Have been a golf nut since I was 10 years old. Our seasons are short here on the prairies in Canada so every spring in April around Masters time I would get so excited for another 6 short months of golf. Now I think I'm taking next year off completely and maybe permanently. 

 

I had a golf trip this summer that I have been planning for 5 years. 5 bucket list courses in the Rocky Mountains in 4 days with close friends and relatives. I played terrible. Got so frustrated with my play I broke the shaft on my 5 iron. After the trip I didn't play for a month and a half. And honestly had no desire to play. My Dad invited me out this past weekend for a quick 9 holes. Sleepwalked to a 51. Didn't feel anything.

 

Guy's I might be done with a game I've loved for 40 years of my life. Has anyone else ever felt this way before? Did it pass? My wife is ecstatic about getting her husband for a whole year next year and I don't blame her. She deserves it after putting up with the game for 25 years of marriage.  Honestly if I received a email tonight informing me that I won an all expenses paid trip to Bandon Dunes a place I have dreamed about going to I would probably pass. I feel like what's the point I would play terrible. Anyone else been in this dark place? I hope not it doesn't feel good.

I have not only been there, I am there. I know exactly what you are talking about.  I have played since high school (I’m 52 now). Golf has been a big part of my life. So much so my dog’s names are Hagen and Ryder after Walter Hagen and the Ryder Cup.  I have a golf themed family room and even had a vacation home on a course on Hilton Head.  I got my handicap down to a 8.5 about seven years ago. Slowly my scores started to creep up until I couldn’t break 90. The group I played with were all single digits guys and many of them weren’t happy when I would get picked on their team. I was frustrated beyond belief. One day after hitting two houses with drives on the front 9 of a course where the houses aren’t that close, I threw my bag in the shed, quit my club and walked away.  Now three years later I’m starting to miss it.  The challenge of the sport and the ability to disconnect from life for a few hours in a peaceful setting have been calling me. This year I played twice with friends and I read The Four Foundations of Golf, which made me appreciate that this is a thing I do for fun.  I’ll be honest, I was also dealing with some anxiety and depression which may have put me in a bit of a doom loop for golf (I would not get any joy but only frustration). If you are not getting joy out of other areas of your life that used to bring you happiness it’s possible there is more going on than just the golf thing (not hinting at anything or judging, just saying in my experience depression may have been a big part of why I wasn’t loving the game anymore). I think the time away did me good but I am really looking forward to getting back to the game and playing with people I enjoy being around.