Best Golf Put-Downs

[Mascot]

Whenever a playing partner badly misses a putt

 

"At least you had the right club"

[Ripper212]

When a player hits a bad shot that still somehow ends up on the green -

 

That's a sister-in-law shot  -   you're on but you shouldn't be!

[smoky25]

When someone makes a double bogey after a beautiful drive down the middle, we'll say, "Nice drive," as we're walking off the green.

[caniac6]

We had a guy put a good swing on a ball, and hit a beautiful shot that, unfortunately, was about 15 yards right of the green. One guy in the group said, “ That was a great shot if you don’t care where it goes.”

[elwhippy]

After a particularly wild tee shot "That's were the elephants go to die", or "give my regards to Tarzan". 

[A.Princey]

Whenever I see a 5-some ahead of me, I inevitably catch them and ask, “Hey guys, what’s wrong, you couldn’t find a 6th person to join????”

[Llortamaisey]

I was playing with a buddy and his dad and we were on a par three tee box. I hit my shot beyond the pin and ripped it back close to the hole. My buddy’s dad asked me how I did that, how do I put backspin on the ball. I asked him “how far do you hit your 9 iron?” He replied “about 110 to 115 yards.” I said “why are you trying to back it up? I think you need to get it to go forward.” 

[RSinSG]

When one of us hits a shot left or right or misreads a putt badly someone will inevitably say “That was a great shot other than distance and direction.”

[david.c.w]

14 hours ago, Ripper212 said:

When a player hits a bad shot that still somehow ends up on the green -

 

That's a sister-in-law shot  -   you're on but you shouldn't be!

 

The version I heard from a caddie a few weeks ago was..

 

"Thats like being with your stepsister.  You know you shouldn't be up there, but you are and you're happy about it."

[Ty_Webb]

11 hours ago, caniac6 said:

We had a guy put a good swing on a ball, and hit a beautiful shot that, unfortunately, was about 15 yards right of the green. One guy in the group said, “ That was a great shot if you don’t care where it goes.”

 

Our line when someone hits that shot is "That's a tad right for the purist"

[mark m]

Nice OB stakes (no tan legs)

 

 

Edited February 24, 2024 by mark m

[ChipNRun]

Back in the 1970s I got to play golf frequently with a guy who was a former letterman of the Portland State U. golf team.

 

One day we got a whiner in our group who complained all round about his golf swing problems. While waiting on No. 10 tee, the whiner asked, "Scott, what should I do about my golf swing?"

 

Without batting an eye, Scott replied, "Lay off for two weeks - then quit!"

 

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I played in a benefit scramble one time with three young guns about 30 years younger than me. The fourth hole was a tight par 4, about 320 yards long, with water on left and OB right. 

 

I took out a 4H and knocked it 180 yards down the middle. The youngsters pull out drivers - put two in the water and one OB.

 

As we depart the tee, our "captain" asks me why I didn't use more club for my tee shot.

 

"Because we needed at least one ball we could play," I replied.

 

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Playing in a work-related scramble down in Oklahoma - me, two other guys and my wife on a team.

 

We are butchering a long par 4. After a skulled PW - our best approach shot 😪 - we lay four about 40 feet beyond the cup.

 

The other two guys look at the putt from behind the ball, by the cup, and sideways for about two minutes. First try: ball goes 15 feet past cup.

 

My wife then  jumps in: stands behind the ball for three seconds, sets up to ball, and with no waggle or practice swing knocks it into the center of the cup. Par is saved.

 

Our captain shouts, "You didn't even line that up!"

 

She replied, "I'm sorry, but I blow the shot if I stand over a putt too long."

 

[J_Tizzle]

I always like the "you're not good enough to be this mad" as someone stated earlier.

 

Then the one that just digs people  is when they miss a putt and they're complaining about it just say 'hey not all good putts go in" or "not all bad putts miss" if they make one that they're complaining about.

[Wooley12]

Got this one from my dad. When I'm with people that know me and I'm asked "What's the problem with my swing" after a poor drive I'll say "Well, from what I could see, you're standing too close to the ball after you hit it. "

[BHI 99]

On 2/22/2024 at 5:20 PM, Ripper212 said:

When a player hits a bad shot that still somehow ends up on the green -

 

That's a sister-in-law shot  -   you're on but you shouldn't be!

Same scenario: “Oooof…she was ugly but had big t**s”. Not really PC. 
 

Someone rips one way off the fairway: “The green really opens up from over there” 

[Mcfly]

Steve Elkington hits a put that horse shoes the cup and comes back toward him stopping about three inches from the cup. 
John Daly spontaneously says “can’t believe you left that short.”

[Ripper212]

On 3/3/2024 at 10:30 PM, Mcfly said:

Steve Elkington hits a put that horse shoes the cup and comes back toward him stopping about three inches from the cup. 
John Daly spontaneously says “can’t believe you left that short.”

Ha. That putt used to be called a Monica Lewinsky - all lip and no hole

[iBanesto]

Case closed.