First Tee Etiquette

[J-Blade]

Let me know what you guys think about this... I was at our local, rather up-scale public course yesterday. The people playing and working there are usually great. While rolling putts on the practice green, I could hear the starter on the PA telling an older twosome to wait for a single to join them. They waited maybe a minute and then teed off. The single arrived just as the couple got to their second shot, which wasn't very far from the tee. The single decided to wait for them to hit their next shot and then tee off, but they took a long time and the started eventually said, "Mateo, why don't you just wait until the next group gets to the tee and join them. They should be there in a minute". 

 

It seemed like a rude thing to do to this kid. I know, since the first tee is pretty close to the practice green, that they heard the starter. They just didn't want someone joining them. When "Mateo" teed off, he hit a great shot long down the fairway. I felt like he was probably better off joining the next group, who also hit well, than be constantly waiting for the first twosome all day. 

[Dpavs]

IMO starter should not be asking a group to wait for someone who is not there and ready to roll. Might have made more sense for the starter to pair the single up with a group who was not yet ready to tee off, which is kind of what happened anyway.

[jholz]

Things like this happen from time to time. I've been in Mateo's situation. 

 

Ideally, the group behind has room and are cool with letting you tag along. 

 

Otherwise, one awkwardly tries to either catch up to the twosome or play as a single in the middle of the mess. 

 

I've done both. Neither is ideal. 

[puttnforthe8]

Was there a question?  The old people were dbags - he prob would have been miserable.  Worked out for the best.  

 

If the question is wait - depends, were they waiting past their tee time and he was a walk up that; then maybe not.  If he was scheduled for that time (booked on the sheet), then yes - rudeAF.

 

 

[dropkicked]

Sense of entitlement. This happens at a friends club often, where some seniors feel they have extraordinary rights.. namely driving their carts up on the greens....

[Mikey_HACKilroy]

Seems like it worked out in the end. Stuff happens, and really it sounds like a relatively low impact situation.

There are worse things in life than 1st Tee Mixups.

[jda]

Not sure why people think that golfers are gentlemen or have any type of common sense or etiquette.

 

If the started wanted the kid to play with them, then he could man up, drive down there and make them wait.

 

Expecting people to be decent has never been, and never will, be a very smart thing to do.  You have to make people be decent.  Then, it is a treat if you just happen upon some good folks in the wild.

[Pepperturbo]

On 5/15/2024 at 11:27 AM, J-Blade said:

Let me know what you guys think about this... I was at our local, rather up-scale public course yesterday. The people playing and working there are usually great. While rolling putts on the practice green, I could hear the starter on the PA telling an older twosome to wait for a single to join them. They waited maybe a minute and then teed off. The single arrived just as the couple got to their second shot, which wasn't very far from the tee. The single decided to wait for them to hit their next shot and then tee off, but they took a long time and the started eventually said, "Mateo, why don't you just wait until the next group gets to the tee and join them. They should be there in a minute". 

 

It seemed like a rude thing to do to this kid. I know, since the first tee is pretty close to the practice green, that they heard the starter. They just didn't want someone joining them. When "Mateo" teed off, he hit a great shot long down the fairway. I felt like he was probably better off joining the next group, who also hit well, than be constantly waiting for the first twosome all day. 

What the starter did made sense.

 

I do NOT believe it was about "not wanting someone to join them."  My 3-some has waited on the tee for a single, then we finally said the hell with it, and tee'd off.  The single showed up on the tee after we reached our ball.  One guy teed off and caught up with us, another waited for the next tee group.  Neither case has anything to do with golf etiquette or being rude.  Most people wouldn't know that unless you were on the BOD with management responsibility over POP issues.

Edited May 16, 2024 by Pepperturbo

[dropkicked]

16 minutes ago, Pepperturbo said:

What the started did made sense.

 

I do NOT believe it was about "not wanting someone to join them."  My 3-some has waited on the tee for a single, then we finally said the hell with it, and tee'd off.  The single showed up on the tee after we reached our ball.  One guy teed off and caught up with us, another waited for the next tee group.  Neither case has anything to do with golf etiquette or being rude.  Most people wouldn't know that unless you were on the BOD with management responsibility over POP issues.

If the starter asked them to wait, they should've waited. That's appropriate etiquette and behavior.

 

[Abh159]

Maybe the first group didn't hear the person tell them to wait (you said it was an "older" twosome). Maybe the didn't know how long they were supposed to wait (you said they waited a minute or two and the guy hadn't gotten their so they teed off). Maybe they just didn't want the single to play with them. 

 

I guess it's kind of a weird situation, but it's not really something I'd ever think about again. If the kid got the the tee and the twosome told him to get lost then it would be something worth posting about.

[LBB]

I don't see it as a huge deal either way.  The kid was late.  If the twosome waited, whether it was on the tee, in the fairway, or on the first green, so long as they eventually met up, presumably introduced themselves, and carried on, I don't see what the big deal is.

 

At my municipal course...I've had the starter call out to guys that were already walking from the tee box to their drives to tell them to wait as I would join them as a walk on (there were no other single spots in the next 5 or so scheduled groups).  They proceeded to keep walking down along the tree line...I tee'd off, and we introduced ourselves and shook hands at the green.  And we had a normal and pleasant round together.

 

I've also had times as a walk on where the starter gave me the option...do you want to join the guys that are on the tee right now, or do you want to wait a couple groups.  I've never run into a situation either way where a group at a public course made a stink about a single joining them at any time.  If you're an obnoxious golfer that I wish I wasn't playing with...you're going to likely be obnoxious the entire round...not just walking up to the first tee.

Edited May 15, 2024 by LBB

[J-Blade]

Thanks, guys for your posts.. I don't blame the starter at all.  She is a very nice, older lady whom everyone likes. The PA announcements are pretty loud and, as I wrote, the first tee is very close to the practice green. I am pretty sure they heard the announcement because they looked at the starter's window on the pro shop while she was speaking.  The kid was putting his bag on the back of the cart when the starter made the announcement. The cart lot is by the practice green too. Mateo got to the tee, I'd say, no more than two minutes or so later and they had already teed off. 

 

It's not a big deal at all. It just seemed like the twosome intentionally ignored the starter. I guess I just assume fellow golfers would treat others the same way I would. Not today, apparently. 

[ChipNRun]

Trying to cobble together foursomes on the fly is challenge for starters, and the single golfer.

                                                     

I'm frequently a player in this show. Sequence: in the evening I decide to schedule a round for the next morning. I book a solo slot in a foursome tee time with "1 or 2" slots remaining.

 

I show up, pay my fees, and the starter tells that Bigbang is the player that booked the twosome or threesome. Then, the hunt begins.

 

I ask around on the driving range as I warm up. This gets complicated, as the course reversed the nines two years ago. The driving range is next to No. 10... No. 1 is about 300 yards across the parking lot.

 

Here are some things that actually happen...

• Due to unsold tee times, Bigbang and his partner teed off 20 minutes early in teebox deadspace.
• Bigbang and partner paid on-line, and went straight to No. 1 tee from their cars.
• Bigbang and partner  are missing in action.

Sometimes, let's just be happy that starter gets everyone out on the course.

                                                               

[bobfoster]

I'm totally fine with this.

 

Speaking as someone who often walks on a single, I'm always respectful. I get paired with a twosome or threesome that booked a tee time, people that know each other and are playing together. I always consider myself "a guest in their house". If a group is young and loud and raunchy, I can tell horribly dirty jokes. If they are old and conservative, my vocabulary and tone would be perfectly acceptable in a convent. This doesn't affect my game at all.

 

My experiences joining a group as a single? Pretty much overwhelmingly welcomed. Have met some great people, including some that turned into long term friends. 

 

That said, everyone knows how golf courses work. If you book as a twosome, you'll likely be playing with another twosome, or a walk on single. You don't have a choice. But personally, whenever a starters goes up to a group as says "this guy is joining you", I always add (genuinely) "I hope that's okay". If I sense any hesitation, I'll politely step back and wait for the next opening. 

 

Because ... well, a couple instances. On the first anniversary of asking my wife (now deceased) to marry her, we played a round of golf. And, shortly after my mother died, my Dad and I played 18. Walking a beautiful course, mostly in silence, to just mourn together. On both occasions, I was fortunate enough to not have the course tell me they were pairing me with a single.

 

I get that there are some times when a twosome or threesome might want a private round, but they have no choice on most courses. But ... truth is, if the starter tells me I'm going to be with a group, and it is clear they want to play on their own (don't care what the reason is), I'll wish them a great day.

 

In the first post to start this thread, it was easily clear that the first couple wanted to play alone. As someone that walks on a lot, I would totally (and happily) honor their preference. "Mateo" probably had a far more pleasurable round by waiting 10 minutes for the next group (that was likely welcoming), than trying to catch up with a couple clearly not close to his league. 

 

I never want a group feel "forced" to play with me. Though that rarely happens. 

 

Respect is one of the core values of our game. 

 

 

Edited May 16, 2024 by bobfoster

[Soloman1]

maybe they didn’t speak english.

maybe they were hard of hearing.

maybe they thought the starter was talking to the group behind them, since the starter could have just talked to them directly without using a pa system.

maybe your definition of an “older couple” is people in their 40’s.

maybe the world is full of maybe’s. 😉

 

[st1800e]

3 hours ago, Soloman1 said:

maybe they didn’t speak english.

maybe they were hard of hearing.

maybe they thought the starter was talking to the group behind them, since the starter could have just talked to them directly without using a pa system.

maybe your definition of an “older couple” is people in their 40’s.

maybe the world is full of maybe’s. 😉

 

Yes, agreed, a lot of maybe’s.  And maybe the starter could actually speak to the golfers in person, rather than barking at them over the PA.  

[mshills]

The starter was not specific or direct enough. “Wait for a single to join you.” OK, where is the single, is the single checked in, how long are we to wait, etc.?
 

Hard to know about the twosome in question, whether they’d waited long enough (acceptable) or they just didn’t want to be paired up (not their decision, unacceptable.)

[Pepperturbo]

23 hours ago, dropkicked said:

If the starter asked them to wait, they should've waited. That's appropriate etiquette and behavior.

 

Etiquette is an awareness that each person has or not.  Maintaining POP is another topic.  The Starter can ask for people to wait, but doing so can have a derogatory effect on others behind the tee group. The variable regarding waiting has to do with tee time spread, player skill and chosen tees.  Most TT spread here in SOCAL are 7min, better courses 10min.

 

Presuming the tee sheet is full, how long the tee group waits is up to them.  Too often singles are slower than molasses getting to the tee.  We noticed that last weekend when the starter called a single to the tee to play with 3 some already on the tee.  They waited for the single which was on the range, he then decided to run out to his car for something, holding up that tee group, and the group behind them, which happened to be us.  At this junction, two tee groups were already behind.  We were NOT happy.  When that single finally showed on the tee, the other 3 hit.  He took his measly time with practice swings and then stubbed one 50yds, then went through the process again.  

 

If it was my group on the tee, we would have teed off, and he could have caught up.  NO tee group should wait for a single.  I have played a lot of golf as a walkon and was always standing by the 1st tee, so there was NO waiting on me; that's POP etiquette. 

Edited May 16, 2024 by Pepperturbo

[Dpavs]

2 hours ago, Pepperturbo said:

.....The variable regarding waiting has to do with tee time spread, player skill and chosen tees.  Most TT spread here in SOCAL are 7min, better courses 10min......

 

 

 

Agree 100%, this is precisely why I said the starter should never ask a group on the tee to wait for someone who is not ready to go.

[jda]

If the starter wants it to happen, then they need to make it happen.  They are not diffident folks there to sheepishly make suggestions for people to take or leave.

[Greenie]

I think some of the above posts hit on the variables that should be considered when questioning proper tee etiquette.

 

I don't mind being paired up but I do mind being held up to be paired up. I also don't like to be rushed to the first tee ahead of my tee time if I am not ready. I've had both happen to me.

 

I was rushed to the first tee ahead of my time to be paired up. I looked like the late guy. The one guy in the group expressed his displeasure of me being late. After I told him my tee time was actually several tee times after his everything was ok.

 

My friend and I were told to wait for a single to join us. We waited until our tee time and then we went to the first tee and teed off. The starter didn't realize we had teed off until we were riding out to the fairway. He tracked us down and said I told you guys to wait. I said we waited until our tee time and then we teed off. I said I am never late and I am not going to be late teeing off if the hole is open.

 

Here is part of my post from a different thread. I had this happen a few weeks ago.

 

I looked at the tee sheet at a course I play sometimes. I noticed from 10:30 to 11:16 it was not booked. I booked 11:08. I know there is no guarantee the other spots would not fill up but I took a chance and booked 11:08 to give us a buffer before we caught the foursomes ahead. 

We show up at the course 20 mins. early and check in. My friend gets a cart and we are ready to go. There is no one on the first tee box so we ask the starter if we can go. He says no because someone has booked as a twosome at 11:08 and he is going to pair us up. The whole time while we wait the tee box is open. At 11:08 I mention to the starter it's 11:08 and it appears they are a no-show. As I am saying this the starter looks around and sees a couple walking towards the club house. He asks them if they are 11:08 and they said yes we are. 

 

The couple walks over after checking in and says I guess we are playing with you guys. The starter says yes this is the group you booked with. The guy says well I guess we better get a cart and ride over to the car to get our clubs and put our shoes on. I am ready to blow a gasket. No sense of urgency and late! I looked at the starter and said really?

 

The tee sheet had a few open slots right before our tee time and I would think a good starter would have sent us out early. But not only didn't he do that he held us up past our tee time to pair us up. After our time the tee times were booked so he actually made all the tee times after us go off late too.

 

 

[J-Blade]

23 hours ago, Soloman1 said:

maybe your definition of an “older couple” is people in their 40’s.

maybe the world is full of maybe’s. 😉

 

I'm 68, so I'd say no 🙂

[Soloman1]

On 5/15/2024 at 11:27 AM, J-Blade said:

It seemed like a rude thing to do to this kid.

 

your sentence makes it sound like the kid is you.

 

maybe? 😉

 

[betarhoalphadelta]

On 5/15/2024 at 12:41 PM, dropkicked said:

If the starter asked them to wait, they should've waited. That's appropriate etiquette and behavior.

 

 

I do agree with this. If the starter asked them to wait, as a representative for the course, they should wait. 

 

On 5/15/2024 at 12:22 PM, Pepperturbo said:

What the starter did made sense.

 

I do NOT believe it was about "not wanting someone to join them."  My 3-some has waited on the tee for a single, then we finally said the hell with it, and tee'd off.  The single showed up on the tee after we reached our ball.  One guy teed off and caught up with us, another waited for the next tee group.  Neither case has anything to do with golf etiquette or being rude.  Most people wouldn't know that unless you were on the BOD with management responsibility over POP issues.

 

I had a round with my son (at Oso Creek, incidentally) where something like this came up. Nobody was asking us to wait or hold, and we're on the first tee and there's nobody else there. I assumed that there was probably a twosome that should have been with us, but thought "well maybe they're a no-show". Even the first green was starting to clear, so we teed off. 

 

Behind us after we've teed off, we see two carts (three people). We continue on #1, play #2, and (because you can see everything on those first few holes) I realize that it's a couple with their daughter, so they've got three carts but are playing as a twosome. 

 

We waited on the third tee and asked them to join us, because I realized that they were the group with the same tee time as us that we "should have" been paired with. 

 

I did that for two reasons:

1. If we're taking up two holes as two twosomes, that's limiting the ability for a group to be on the course. It's basically needlessly taking up course real estate. 
2. Selfishly, if we're playing as a twosome we're going to be waiting A LOT, and that will disrupt our own flow. As a twosome we can play much faster than all the foursomes stacking that course. It's a packed course so it's not like we can expect to play through anyone. So becoming a foursome actually has the benefit of slowing us down a little, so that we're playing at the same pace as the rest of the course and not waiting on every shot. 

We didn't tee off "because we didn't want to play with another group". We teed off because the first hole was clear and nobody had showed up to play with us. 

[I'_rather_be_golfing]

The 2 guys were a**holes for sure. They were given clear instructions to wait but didn't cause they are above all. Yes it worked out better in the end. But still though.

[gato_plomo]

Seniors seem to be the first to complain of others and the first to break common etiquette. Albeit, not always. 

[Dpavs]

30 minutes ago, gato_plomo said:

Seniors seem to be the first to complain of others and the first to break common etiquette. Albeit, not always. 

 

That's a perspective... but probably not a reality. It's easy to typify any generation characteristically but I have found that the stereotypes are seldom either accurate or pervasive.