What's your favorite golf saying?

[hankj]

I'm new to golf this summer, and one unexpected delight has been all the funny/pithy/telling/wise old saws (aka sayings) one hears on the course and around the clubhouse.

 

 My current favorite:

 

It's a long walk from the driving range to the first tee.

 

Ain't that the truth!  

 

And you?  What's your favorite saying about golf?

Edited October 15, 2024 by hankj

[Ferguson]

Stop acting the par. 

You're away....by a lot.

Slide me a piece of the porter.

Put me down for a Juan Valdez.

[hankj]

A Juan Valdez?

[JimmyC59]

Regarding my own shots: "That's a good miss" and "Well, it's not horrible."

For golfers who get angry on the course.

"You're not good enough to get so mad!"

Edited October 15, 2024 by JimmyC59

[Ferguson]

18 minutes ago, hankj said:

A Juan Valdez?

 

"4" good coffee, call Juan Valdez.

[Warrior42111]

key word of the day is ' in-play' 

[Dabetic]

"Scorecard doesn't care" re bad/ugly shots working out...doesn't matter how you get it done

[BirdieBob]

"YOU THE MAN"

 

 

 

[Warrior42111]

I've been waiting to drop the JT "I love me some me"

 

Playoffs in league start this week, but don't need karma to bite me in the booty 

[jlevitt9]

Walmart shot

 

[Velcade]

[j.b.newton]

Play Better   🙂

[Cellis]

Was playing a pretty tight course struggling with driver and was ready to shut it down for the day. Older gentleman I got paired with said, "Young man, just let the big dog eat, what is the worst that can happen, hit another ball?" Helped me swing a lot more freely on the tee and become more successful not only that day but days on.

[hankj]

1 hour ago, Dabetic said:

"Scorecard doesn't care" re bad/ugly shots working out...doesn't matter how you get it done

Oh I like this one, I'm at the right stage in golf to take in bumper sticker length wisdom 😉

 

It's certainly true. I started bumping shots a lot more around the green and quite often I'm getting closer to the pin than better golfers chipping. 

Edited October 15, 2024 by hankj

[islesmb]

2 hours ago, Dabetic said:

"Scorecard doesn't care" re bad/ugly shots working out...doesn't matter how you get it done

No pictures on the scorecard is the one I use the most.

[Ghostwedge]

What Sam Snead used to say to his Pro Am partners...

Guys who screw around and take forever to putt, " miss em quick boys."

[RainShadow]

That lacked enthusiasm.

 

[JimMLINY]

From an old pal and teammate from grade school who has his PGA card, when his wedge to green or putt is short.

 

"Come on Sally!"

 

Sexist, maybe, but we are old pals having met in school in 1964 and he is a PGA Teaching Professional, so it is refreshing to see he can do what I do just as easily.

[Ferguson]

I have honors...again. 

 

TKOD, The kiss of death 

Example: bird on first hole

 

You can't handle prosperity.

Example: OB drive following a bird on previous hole

 

You look great in men's clothing. 

 

 

[TUCKITIN]

I say "That'll play" way too often. 

[bobfoster]

I have two or three.

 

I walk on as a single a lot (my schedule is really unpredictable, so I'm often making up my mind at the last minute and playing with strangers).

 

The first - to older golfers that say "I've just started": As Ben Hogan once said, it's never too late to start wasting your life.

 

The second - to someone who's putt stopped 1mm from the hole: In Miami they call that a Cuban putt ... just needs one more revolution.

 

But the best is one I heard on WRX (probably a decade ago, and I still use it). I'm a pretty good golfer, but sometimes get paired with "Covid golfers", people that just are learning the game. They often feel a little embarrassed. Apologize. Best line ever (which is true)? "No one cares how you play, they only care how you are to play with". Nails it. I've played with scratch golfers that were complete a**holes. And gotten put with groups of folks that could barely break 100, but were an absolute delight to spend an afternoon with. 

[Rosco1216]

“I love you put inside me”
 

Instead of “that dog will hunt” we use a different 4 letter word that starts with F_ _ _ 🫣

 

yes, we lack maturity.

[sheepdawg]

They call it golf because s**t and f**k were already taken.

[st1800e]

It’s not how you drive, it’s how you arrive.  

[hankj]

17 hours ago, bobfoster said:

"No one cares how you play, they only care how you are to play with".

Good one!

 

6 hours ago, st1800e said:

It’s not how you drive, it’s how you arrive.

So true.  And given my short game in the past month quite unfortunate :)

[gripandrip]

In my group we sometimes lack maturity and political correctness.

After a decent drive... "Surprisingly good shot".

[hankj]

Heard this one today after someone 

missed a 5 foot putt:

 

I talked myself into straight.

 

 

Middle School snickering aside, it's got philosophical complexity. As you go to strike a golf ball, are you actually mentally connected to that physical reality?  Or are you connected to the idea of being connected, but actually aren't?  It's an interesting take on how it's not so easy to actually have a present mind state.

 

Edited October 17, 2024 by hankj

[MtlJeff]

Whenever someone asks me what they are doing wrong (this happens a lot because i am far superior to the average man)

 

-What am i doing wrong?

-You're standing too close to the ball

-Really?

-Yes, when it lands

[Hickory4ever]

One of my favourites when someone really misses a putt is “other than the speed and line, that putt was perfect”.

[isaacbm]

I was playing with a buddy the other day in a two-man scramble. 
   He was putting from 4 feet. I told him right center. He said I agree. As I stood behind his line I watch him aim 2 cups left of the hole for the fourth time of the day. Right at impact I said “nice effort.”

 

The other two guys in our group laughed for five minutes straight.  Needless to say, we did not win the scramble.