What do you do when nobody wants to be paired with "that guy"?

[larrybud]

At my club, this one dude runs the weekend game. Usually 16-20 players each week, sat/sun morning. I help him with handicapping and some rules/skins, etc. It got large enough to the point where he started assigning tee times for the groups. Used to be we'd have 12 guys so we'd just pair up on the first tee, but with 20, nobody wants to be standing around for 45 minutes if they're in the last group.

 

Anyway, there's this one guy, older dude, early 70s... well, nobody want to play with him. He's SLOOOWWWW, and to top it off, he insist on walking. My course is a DIFFICULT walk. Very hilly, few holes with some space between green to tee, walk from 9 to 10 sucks, etc. Add to that 90 degree heat, his age (and I will hand it to him), it's just brutal. I was paired with him a month or so ago and we had 3 walkers and 1 rider, and I INSISTED he hop in the cart on the difficult parts of the walk. But a free seat isn't always available depending on the makeup of the group (ie 2 walkers and 2 riders).

 

I suggested that he just make the guy last each week, and spread the love around, where everyone has to play with him every 3-4 weeks. 

 

What have you guys done in such a situation?

[Jose c.]

only 1 problem out of 20, seems pretty good in this day and age. 

[Hawkeye77]

I was expecting "that guy" to be something totally different, lol.  Sounds like a good solution.

[596]

We had the same situation. We made him last every week.  He would put his group 4 to 5 holes behind after 18.

[LeoLeo99]

Have the tough conversation with him.  Tell him he is too slow and needs to ride if he wants to be in the group.

[Warrior42111]

Similar situation just a slower player in general.

 

Put them in the last group every week

[Augster]

We have basically the same guy. But he’s already riding! 
 

Your solution sounds most equitable. Always in the last group.  Another solution is to always make sure he’s playing in a 3-some. Even if it means one group is a 5-some ahead of him. The 5-some will play slower than a 4-some, and his 3-some may likely be able to keep pace. 
 

We don’t have a solution with our guy yet. He’s not in the best of health, so it seems we are just going to let Father Time take care of it. 

[Petethreeput]

There really is no easy answer, and be thankful you aren't the organizer.  In this situation, and it sounds like it's a private game (not put on the course), the organizer either has to pull him aside and explain the situation or have the guy in the group who doesn't shy away from those uncomfortable conversation talk to him.

 

Then it's up to him, if he wants to continue to play he has to ride and play faster, and he still insists on walking then he can find a different group.

 

We have had a pretty set game which consistently gets 16 players and over the past 10 years there have certainly people who have been disappeared from the text chain.  Invariably it just hasn't been a fit with our group of guys.  Could be POP, could be personality, could be anything, but once the bulk of the guys say something about it, they are gone if there is no change.  And for what it's worth, I can only think of one guy who had the talk and made noticeable changes.  

[Imp]

It's many times solved by telling the slow player they are slow, why they are slow and if no fix, uninvited. Explain that your group of guys require fast play. Anyone not being fast, out (as a rule, not because you're not a cool guy to be with).

 

We also have a 2 stroke penalty applied to the group that turns in the card more than 17 min behind the group before them. When you explain this to the slow player, that they are the reason others are getting dinged, most get and will either not play, or pick up the pace. (if they are not so self absorbed, meaning if they're too self absorbed.... out). On the other side, the other players also not to be so self absorbed to occasionally assist the slower guy, not all the time though.

 

 

 

 

[WesternRacing]

The right answer, if he’s playing super slow and causing his groups to fall behind is to talk to him, and if he refuses to change, kick him out of the group.  And if people object to kicking him out, then they get to be the ones to play with him.  In the last group.  I don’t understand why so many people put up with ssawipes who make life difficult for other people on the golf course.  Would you still interact with someone causing you that much frustration in your daily life?

 

There’s a threesome at my club that I would sometimes play with, that includes an absolute nightmare, schnit disturber, old guy.  As soon as I figured out what his deal was and realized that he had no interest in changing and respecting his playing partners or the course, I simply refused to play with him and told him why.  Problem solved.  The other two guys were bummed that I left the group, but they can’t stop playing with them because they’re old friends with the dude.  Yet they both hate him almost as much as I do.  I just don’t get why people are afraid to talk straight with ay wholes.

 

Edited July 16 by WesternRacing

[rogolf]

We had one such fellow at our course that nobody wanted to play with.  A friend of mine was on the first tee one day with two of his buddies.  "That guy" saw them and came rushing over to the first tee to join them.  My buddy then yelled at him, "It's okay, we've already got a threesome".  That guy never asked again.

[goaliedad30]

2 minutes ago, rogolf said:

We had one such fellow at our course that nobody wanted to play with.  A friend of mine was on the first tee one day with two of his buddies.  "That guy" saw them and came rushing over to the first tee to join them.  My buddy then yelled at him, "It's okay, we've already got a threesome".  That guy never asked again.

 

[bluedot]

On 7/14/2025 at 9:57 PM, larrybud said:

At my club, this one dude runs the weekend game. Usually 16-20 players each week, sat/sun morning. I help him with handicapping and some rules/skins, etc. It got large enough to the point where he started assigning tee times for the groups. Used to be we'd have 12 guys so we'd just pair up on the first tee, but with 20, nobody wants to be standing around for 45 minutes if they're in the last group.

 

Anyway, there's this one guy, older dude, early 70s... well, nobody want to play with him. He's SLOOOWWWW, and to top it off, he insist on walking. My course is a DIFFICULT walk. Very hilly, few holes with some space between green to tee, walk from 9 to 10 sucks, etc. Add to that 90 degree heat, his age (and I will hand it to him), it's just brutal. I was paired with him a month or so ago and we had 3 walkers and 1 rider, and I INSISTED he hop in the cart on the difficult parts of the walk. But a free seat isn't always available depending on the makeup of the group (ie 2 walkers and 2 riders).

 

I suggested that he just make the guy last each week, and spread the love around, where everyone has to play with him every 3-4 weeks. 

 

What have you guys done in such a situation?

When you had 3 walkers and one rider a month or so ago, was he not able to keep up with the other walkers?  What is the pace of play typically for his group vs the others?
 

Second question: Is he carrying, or using a push cart, and what are the other walkers doing?
 

Third question: If he was always in the FIRST group, paired with three guys who ALWAYS ride, so that there was always a seat for long green to tee purposes would the pace of play be ok?
 

I ask these questions because the idea of a guy being told that he either has to stop walking or leave the group is pretty horrific to me.

[jvincent]

1 hour ago, bluedot said:

I ask these questions because the idea of a guy being told that he either has to stop walking or leave the group is pretty horrific to me.

 

Needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.

 

There was a group of older guys at my club and one of them was horrifically slow. They had the talk with him about playing faster and he told them that he wasn't willing to speed up. They booted him from the group.

 

Since we have a mandated pace of play policy at the club we don't get many slowpokes but this guy was notorious for failing to meet the time. 

[larrybud]

2 hours ago, bluedot said:

When you had 3 walkers and one rider a month or so ago, was he not able to keep up with the other walkers?  What is the pace of play typically for his group vs the others?
 

Second question: Is he carrying, or using a push cart, and what are the other walkers doing?
 

Third question: If he was always in the FIRST group, paired with three guys who ALWAYS ride, so that there was always a seat for long green to tee purposes would the pace of play be ok?
 

I ask these questions because the idea of a guy being told that he either has to stop walking or leave the group is pretty horrific to me.

 

No, he was not able to keep up with the other walkers. He's a push cart guy as are all the walkers but 1.  The groups get mixed up each week so everybody has a chance to play with everybody else. You don't necessarily know who is walking and riding as some guys flip between the two depending on the weather (ie. been really hot lately so more riders). "That guy" still walks.

 

If there was an open seat, pace is better but still slow. No way this guy is getting put in the first group unless there's a 3 some.

 

To someone else, no way in the world we are playing a 5-some.

[caniac6]

We have a guy that brags about how far he hits it, and then wants to play forward tees so he” always has a birdie putt.” He tries to stir the pot at every opportunity. We have two guys in our group that get the tee times, and make the teams, and this guy always has to try to take over if we have to play away due to an event. I’m considering leaving the club because of this one guy. He’s my Newman.

[tatertot]

3 hours ago, jvincent said:

 

Needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.

 

There was a group of older guys at my club and one of them was horrifically slow. They had the talk with him about playing faster and he told them that he wasn't willing to speed up. They booted him from the group.

 

Since we have a mandated pace of play policy at the club we don't get many slowpokes but this guy was notorious for failing to meet the time. 

Speed up or else. Give him a time limit. If he can't make it, he needs to ride. If he still can't make it, he needs to find a new group.

[Greenie]

16 hours ago, WesternRacing said:

The right answer, if he’s playing super slow and causing his groups to fall behind is to talk to him, and if he refuses to change, kick him out of the group.  And if people object to kicking him out, then they get to be the ones to play with him.  In the last group.  I don’t understand why so many people put up with ssawipes who make life difficult for other people on the golf course.  Would you still interact with someone causing you that much frustration in your daily life?

 

 

This is the right answer.....^^^^^

 

We have a guy in our group that is slow and obnoxious. Last year we put him in the last group out. Most of the guys complained being in the same group with him. Everyone complained about riding in the same cart with him.

 

I wanted the guy kicked out of the group but the guy in charge wouldn't do it. 

 

I ended up having a long talk with this guy about the major complaints brought up about him. He said he didn't need to change because he knew he was still going to be invited no matter what. He ended up thinking it was all me and he said I needed to realize "I wasn't a pro".

 

This year after some debate with the other guys in the group about what to do with this guy it was decided he will be a fill in player. He is asked to play when we need someone to fill out a foursome. He plays in about one out of three outings. 

 

He has realized that he isn't being invited every time this year and he has asked me why? My reply was maybe you do need to change because evidently you are not going to be asked no matter what. 

 

I think it has been a wake up call for him. He has been a lot better when he plays now but he does fall back into the same old crap sometimes.

 

I would have a talk with this person your are referring to and explain to them how the majority feels about the situation. If this person doesn't want to make an effort to change then I would tell him he isn't a good fit for the group. It isn't fair the whole group suffers because of one person.

 

It is easy to say what to do but I know how hard it is to fix a problem like this from my experience. 

[mshills]

On 7/15/2025 at 8:18 AM, LeoLeo99 said:

Have the tough conversation with him.  Tell him he is too slow and needs to ride if he wants to be in the group.

This. Part of the deal, being the organizer. 

 

OP, the guy who runs the game has to have the direct, firm, polite discussion with him. As long as there is zero exaggeration / hyperbole and zero room for interpretation / selective memory, it will work.