My friends are idiots!

[villa]

Lightening the mood on GolfWRX

With the recent talk of negativity on this fantastic site, I thought I'd share a story with you all to lighten the mood.

I was fortunate that I grew up with some good lads. We all grew up playing golf together and a lot of us turned Pro at the same time. The thing is, we've all got the mental age of 5. We always used to play practical jokes on each other but there's one in particular that stands out.

It's around 1997-98 and 4 of us have piled into a car with suitcases and clubs to play a European Challenge Tour event in Portugal. It took us nearly 48 hours to drive there from the U.K but none of us could afford the flight. We arrived 2 days before the event and after working on the range and getting in a few practice rounds, we had a couple of good nights out (I think).

The thing is, all the while I knew they were plotting something. On the range on Thursday morning we lined up next to each other and started warming up. I was off before the rest of them so I finished my routine and went off to get a few bottles of water. I came back to grab my bag, made my way to the tee and shook hands with my playing partners for the day. Nothing unusual so far.

I look down the 1st hole. It's a long straight par 4 but I want to get myself on the short stuff so I decide to hit a 3 wood. I take the Callaway Big Bertha headcover off what I thought was my 3 wood and what do I find underneath? A left hand Wilson Invex driver.

Try explaining that to a sour faced starter and 3 playing competitors who only speak broken English. It was too late to swap it so I had to hit driver and pray that I didn't need my 3 wood for the rest of the round. I think I just about got away with it but I swear I could hear my mates laughing about it all the way round. Idiots.

I was reminded of this story on Saturday when a group of youngsters did the same thing to one of their mates. I thought he was going to cry when he looked down on some wooden piece of s**t expecting to see whatever modern 3 wood he actually uses. Inside though, I was crying with him.

So there you go. I've shared my lighthearted story. I urge you all to share your experiences of practical jokes on the course and let's bring back some of that humour that may have been missing! :clapping:

[Ogre41]

Well, I haven't played any practical jokes on anyone that are golf related. So I will just have to share something that I did when I worked at a sporting goods store that had a golf department (see the connection, I knew you would be ok with it). I had a reputation for being a bit crazy, and it was earned, so the fact that 4 guys I worked with forever trusted me to use the fork lift to lift them to the top of the aisles to inventory the storage still baffles me. Well, they let me. And I predictably moved the fork lift as soon as they were all safely up there, stranding them like 20 feet off of the ground. After I walked away for about 5 minutes I got tired of listening to them screaming for help so I came back and mooned them. At this point the store manager saw what was happening and over the PA asked me to stop the mooning. He mentioned nothing about helping them down so I waited for him to come over and do it. In hindsight, he probably doubted that the other 4 would trust me to help them down. And no, this didn't happen during store hours. It was during an overnight inventory duty shift.

[arbitrage]

Great Story!

 

Last year, I played as a single at Lido Beach and was grouped with a pair of life long friends (they were in their 60's). After we tee off on 12 they drive to their shots. While one of the gentlemen took his approach shot the other loosened the strap of his bag on the cart. They get back to the cart and start driving off when the bag falls down onto the cart path. This didn't go over so well as they started to fight. If you've never seen to guys in their 60's fight, it's quite entertaining. To summarize, one dented driver, badly scratched forged blades, nicked up Scotty Newport putter and two busted lips later we completed the round. It's was definitely a memorable round.

[villa]

Ogre41, thanks for sharing mate. I guess it was their fault for trusting you with the Fork Lift in the first place!?

 

Arbitrage, funny story mate. I didn't think you would know about comedy based on the fact that you've got Benny Hill in your avatar but I can't think of a lot that would be funnier than a couple of retired gentlemen kicking off on the course.

 

Keep 'em coming guys. It's Monday, everyone needs cheering up on a Monday!

[arbitrage]

I have Benny Hill as my avatar because when I was young lad I was a spitting image of Benny Hill. My comedic preference is very dry and dark. As and aside, the fight between the two retired gents resembled the chase at the end of every Benny Hill episode.

 

 

Arbitrage, funny story mate. I didn't think you would know about comedy based on the fact that you've got Benny Hill in your avatar but I can't think of a lot that would be funnier than a couple of retired gentlemen kicking off on the course.

[Mr Mizuno]

A few weeks ago at Team-Training we teamed up in groups of two. One guy had to hit balls the other had to distract the ball-striker. Well I was teamed up with the master of distraction... And while I was in my pre-shot routine I saw silver things flying through the air... Well I tried to ignore it and to focus harder. Just when I was about to hit my ball I saw may Golfbag flaying on the range... That killed my concentration, I still hit a very good shot but then I looked up and what I saw was a mess, all my clubs were laying somewhere on the range an so on... But I was complimented for holding my concentration for so long.

[villa]

when I was young lad I was a spitting image of Benny Hill

You should've just posted that mate! Just kidding, hopefully you've grown out of it.

 

I really wish I was there to see it (not that I'm condoning fighting on the golf course!)

 

A few weeks ago at Team-Training we teamed up in groups of two. One guy had to hit balls the other had to distract the ball-striker. Well I was teamed up with the master of distraction... And while I was in my pre-shot routine I saw silver things flying through the air... Well I tried to ignore it and to focus harder. Just when I was about to hit my ball I saw may Golfbag flaying on the range... That killed my concentration, I still hit a very good shot but then I looked up and what I saw was a mess, all my clubs were laying somewhere on the range an so on... But I was complimented for holding my concentration for so long.

That made me laugh out loud mate. I need to try it sometime.

[Ogre41]

A few weeks ago at Team-Training we teamed up in groups of two. One guy had to hit balls the other had to distract the ball-striker. Well I was teamed up with the master of distraction... And while I was in my pre-shot routine I saw silver things flying through the air... Well I tried to ignore it and to focus harder. Just when I was about to hit my ball I saw may Golfbag flaying on the range... That killed my concentration, I still hit a very good shot but then I looked up and what I saw was a mess, all my clubs were laying somewhere on the range an so on... But I was complimented for holding my concentration for so long.

 

 

That is awesome (at least if nothing is broken). There is no way I would have made any contact with anything after that!

[MiuraPro]

Here is my classic! Enjoy the movie. 100% true and no acting.

 

http://www.bogeybluesgolf.com/leahypinkgrips.wmv

 

r/BogeyDoctor

[Mr Mizuno]

A few weeks ago at Team-Training we teamed up in groups of two. One guy had to hit balls the other had to distract the ball-striker. Well I was teamed up with the master of distraction... And while I was in my pre-shot routine I saw silver things flying through the air... Well I tried to ignore it and to focus harder. Just when I was about to hit my ball I saw may Golfbag flaying on the range... That killed my concentration, I still hit a very good shot but then I looked up and what I saw was a mess, all my clubs were laying somewhere on the range an so on... But I was complimented for holding my concentration for so long.

 

 

That is awesome (at least if nothing is broken). There is no way I would have made any contact with anything after that!

 

Nothing was broken... only wet because it rained like hell that day.

[Titleist87]

Here is my classic! Enjoy the movie. 100% true and no acting.

 

http://www.bogeybluesgolf.com/leahypinkgrips.wmv

 

r/BogeyDoctor

 

Great video. I'll have to do the same someday.

[villa]

Here is my classic! Enjoy the movie. 100% true and no acting.

 

http://www.bogeybluesgolf.com/leahypinkgrips.wmv

 

r/BogeyDoctor

 

Great video. I'll have to do the same someday.

Same here. Thanks for sharing MiuraPro.

[villa]

Come on folks, there must be more (plus, I'll be using them for ideas in the future!).

 

Anyone replaced all the balls in someone's bag with those light practice one's? (or better yet, the exploding one's?) How about filling their water bottle with whiskey? Or good old fashioned pushing them in a lake/stream.

 

Man, I think I'm getting carried away. I don't think I ever get them back properly for the Invex incident. Now that it's back in my mind, revenge will be had.

[Ogre41]

Ogre41, thanks for sharing mate. I guess it was their fault for trusting you with the Fork Lift in the first place!?

 

Arbitrage, funny story mate. I didn't think you would know about comedy based on the fact that you've got Benny Hill in your avatar but I can't think of a lot that would be funnier than a couple of retired gentlemen kicking off on the course.

 

Keep 'em coming guys. It's Monday, everyone needs cheering up on a Monday!

 

 

They'd stranded me many times, but I would just climb down. It's gotta be a sight to see a 6'3 300 lb man scaling down a retail fixture! And they did far worse to me, a pellet gun while I was on a ladder comes to mind. I do miss those guys.

[scotton]

I keep a big bag of joke tees in my bag. They look like normal tees, but the tops are flat and a ball won't sit on them. Every now and then a sprinkle 3 or 4 on a tee box while playing. Makes me giggle. I also keep them in my "tee pocket" on my bag to help my buddy that always needs to borrow tees.

[Tmiller72]

Try explaining that to a sour faced starter and 3 playing competitors who only speak broken English. It was too late to swap it so I had to hit driver and pray that I didn't need my 3 wood for the rest of the round. I think I just about got away with it but I swear I could hear my mates laughing about it all the way round. Idiots.

 

You played a Challenge Tour event in a foursome?? That's weird.

[deeviant]

I'm a little demented... Hence the username. I'm always doing something deviant.

We have done a few that immediately come to mind.

 

I had a nike wedge the same as a friend's. It was what he called his "money club". He used it all the time. Well, I pulled my shaft and installed the head on a shaft like his. Only we didn't actually install it correctly. There was just enough double sided tape on the shaft to hold the head in place. His first swing with it, off comes the head. I thought he was going to cry....

 

We had a friend that lives on a golf course that allows you to use your own cart. So, of course, he ALWAYS wants to ride, even if everyone else is walking he'll ride. So we hooked up the back up beeper so that it would go off anytime he hit the accelerator BEEP!!!. It didn't matter if it was going forwards or reverse. BEEP!!!! He went about three holes with the constant BEEEEPPP!!! before he ditched it to the side and walked the rest of the course lugging around a staff bag. It was a pretty funny sight. We gave him crap about it the whole time, but didn't actually tell him it was us until the round was over. He was, how should we say it, oh yeah, pissed!!!!!

 

And finally just about all my friends are into cars. One has a shop that does all kinds of machining and assembly. He has this grease he uses in assembly which he calls 'smurf snot'. Its blue, sticky, smells like rotten eggs, and stains badly. Well as soon as we seen this we knew what its intended purpose actually was. If your first thought was, they're putting it in someone's glove you are correct. One of our playing partners has this thing with his nose. I have no idea what the deal is but he is always rubbing his freaking nose. We give him crap about it all the time. The other funny thing is he always uses his right hand. He's left handed so, if he has his glove on and you mention something about his nose he has to take his glove off to scratch his nose. I don't mean he will eventually, I mean he HAS to scratch it right then. So of course in goes the smurf snot. Not a lot, but just a little in the tips. He puts his glove on, and after his swing I say it looks like he swung a little grass up by his nose. Off comes the glove, rubbing away. He looks at us and doesn't realize at first what happens because he thinks its the usual, haha got you to rub your nose bit. About that time his sense of smell kicks in and we are all rolling with laughter. Well, all of us with the exception of one. :)

 

Thats all I can think of off the top of my head. We do something just about every time we go out, but its usually petty little stuff. Sticking smelly, nasty, rather ripe dog poop under the seat of a cart during a round always gets a laugh from me and my immature friends as well. The key is you have to do it when you are away from the clubhouse so that can't just drive over and pick up another cart. :clapping:

[BEND OF THE RIVER GC]

Great stories! I do remember the INVEX!

[chingali]

About 25 years ago when I was junior member of a golf club in western Sydney there were a group of other juniors I would play with regularly. One of our group was annoying, actually he was way beyond annoying but he was our mate so we played with him anyway.

 

One day he was being even more annoying than usual and by the 16th hole the other 3 of us were about ready to kill him. We all hit our second or third shots on to the green and our annoying little friend goes in to the trees to take a leak when it's his turn to putt. As he heads in to the trees one of my mates in the group grabs his sand bucket and heads over to a bunker and scoops it full of sand and then deposits it's contents in to the top of the bag of our annoying mate. The other 2 of us quickly followed his lead and by the time our mate had returned from watering the bushes his bag was full, we even filled the pockets.

 

We all putted out which was a bit hard considering we were all trying our hardest not to p*ss ourselves laughing in anticipation of our mate discovering what we'd done. When our victim gets back to his bag and tries to put his putter away he can't, after a quick investigation he began to yell and kick his bag and call us other 3 all sorts of nasty things, he even suggested we go and do some things that technically aren't possible with one another.

 

The best bit was when he started to cry and stormed off the course. The following day he was back and ready to play, he never mentioned what had happened and he was still just as annoying as ever but we still love him and play with him even to this day.

[mlh2108]

OK. Here my funniest and most memorable moment on the golf course. Happened 3 y's ago. My brother, who is my regular playing partner, and I tee'd off around 7 in the morning on a beautifull Saturday, nice warm day and not too windy - perfect day for golf.

 

When we come to the second hole i hit a fairly decent approach (2 yards from the stick) and all of the sudden this almost naked guy jumps out of the bushes nearby, runs to green and grabs my ball. He then runs to the bushes on the other side of the green and just stands there shouting "come on, you want your ball ?" in really provocative fashion. I was truly puzzled and had no idea was was going on, but since it was early, I figured it was propably some guys still drunk from last night and out to have some fun with the golfers.

 

I starting thinking about the rules...."outside agency" and bla bla bla and decided that i would rather play a new ball than pick a fight with the guy. I play a new ball and when i approach the green I can hear sounds, puzzles and some not-so-convincing animal sounds from the bushes from where he jumped out.... By now I am really confused and all this time my brother didn't say a word.

 

Suddenly all of my freinds comes out of the bushes and what do you know.... It was time for my bachelor party. Needless to say that round of golf ended there and I must admit that I was not able to play golf the rest of that weekend. :clapping:

 

Everytime I play that hole again it reminds me of that day (and the tremendous hangover I had the next) and it brings a smile to my face...... since then no naked men have jumped from that bush

[villa]

You played a Challenge Tour event in a foursome?? That's weird.

Lol, I meant 2 playing partners. One of them must've had a caddy because I distinctly remember there being 3 people there (plus the starter). Unless one of my mates fancied a holiday, I very rarely had a caddy (I could barely afford to feed myself!).

 

The best bit was when he started to cry and stormed off the course.

You have a sick sense of humour my friend...I like that. Not sure what the repercussions would be if I filled one of my friends bags with sand but there's only one way of finding out!

 

Scotton, those tees sound like a good idea. Thanks for sharing mate.

 

Deeviant, I guessed by your name that you might have some stories. I particularly like what you did with the Nike wedge. I've got a set of T-Zoid Pro's minus the shafts and a friend of mine absolutely loves his. I think I may have to try that out with the 5 iron or something (although knowing my luck, the head would go flying into a lake!).

[DaveyH]

my mate left his clubs in the pro shop and me and the pro cut the grip off his lob wedge.

He went out onto the course without knowing we laughed so hard when he came back in!!

Another time we unclipped the straps on a guys bag so when he lifted it the bag fell off his back

 

Probably had too many of these moments to list!!

I have alot of friends that love to play practical jokes!!

Although i remember once my friend pulling a golf ball out of his bag and someone had drawn a huge p**** on it.

The impact mark on the face didnt come off for a while|!

[villa]

since then no naked men have jumped from that bush

That's a shame.

 

Trust me, regardless of the rules I'd have played a different ball as well. There's no way I'd wrestle a naked man (even for a Pro-V1).

 

Great story mate, hope you enjoyed your weekend (if you can remember?) :clapping:

[villa]

my mate left his clubs in the pro shop and me and the pro cut the grip off his lob wedge.

He went out onto the course without knowing we laughed so hard when he came back in!!

 

Although i remember once my friend pulling a golf ball out of his bag and someone had drawn a huge p**** on it.

I like the idea of cutting a grip off. Nice and simple but very effective.

 

Drawing obscene parts on golf balls wouldn't work with my lot I'm afraid. Most of them mark their ball like that anyway!

[DaveyH]

the funniest part was that he has a reputation for being a bit of an arse this lad so when he got his

balls for getting a 2 i think the pro rigged it with some of the other juniours and they give him those.

Without checking he took them on the course nice surprise when teeing up!

 

on numerous occasions we have hid someones putter so they had to run back down the short 1st which is around 320 yards.

 

Funny one i saw last week..

guy has electric trolley..his mates set it off whilst he is in the half way house..

as im playing the 7th hole which is adjacent to the 10th i see a trolley heading back down the tenth with no one following it!

[villa]

as im playing the 7th hole which is adjacent to the 10th i see a trolley heading back down the tenth with no one following it!

Only in Wales! :clapping:

 

Just kidding mate, that does sound hilarious. Luckily though, none of my friends use an electric trolley. I think if any of them turned up with one, they wouldn't be my friend anymore.

 

I'm still scared of most of the senior members at my club so I wouldn't dare do anything like that to them :)

[DaveyH]

Yeh there is alot of practical jokers at my home club!!

The latest one i seen, not sure if it was a prank actually was my pal has a ping hoofer and the stands are attached to those two rods that auto bring them out when you put the bag down. Guy puts the bag down it just fall on the floor!

It might not have being a prank but judging by the majority of things that happen here!!

Most likely he got pranked!

 

Iv also heard of a story that 2 young lads go out with a notorius guy who likes the odd ale or two.

On the first hole the guy is about 50 foot away and asks one of the lads to tend the flag,

they pick up the flag and take about 5 paces to the left and then hold the flag just above the ground..

needless to say the guy putted to the flag and wasnt too happy when they were rolling around on the floor laughing!!

He walked in and then went out with some other guys haha

[villa]

Iv also heard of a story that 2 young lads go out with a notorius guy who likes the odd ale or two.

On the first hole the guy is about 50 foot away and asks one of the lads to tend the flag,

they pick up the flag and take about 5 paces to the left and then hold the flag just above the ground..

needless to say the guy putted to the flag and wasnt too happy when they were rolling around on the floor laughing!!

Now that's funny!

 

I'll have to try it at the weekend (not in tournament play of course).

[rrkman]

I remember going to softball tournaments with my father and his friends....it was a little ways away and had camping there so we always spent the weekend. Well, just down the road was a pretty beat up course so they usually played on Sunday before heading back. So, finally, I was old enough to be allowed to play (probably about 13 or 14) so I jumped at the chance. I was bad, really bad because I had only hit a golf ball maybe a dozen times before. About halfway through the round, there was a short carry off the tee over water (not even 200 yards).....I must have hit 4 or 5 balls into the water already and was determined to make it over....so, one of my dad's friends says to me - "keep trying and here is another ball" and he puts a ball on the tee. So, I get up there and make the best strike of my life. The ball takes off like a rocket and then all of sudden just stops and drops down into the lake and just floats around for a while. Yes, he pulled the old 'floating ball' trick on me. Now, I have to admit that it was pretty funny but was I mad....I finally hit a good shot and it turns out to be a trick ball. I guess that I should have been happy that it wasn't one of the exploding ones.

[villa]

rrkman, I would've been gutted as well.

 

Shame you weren't a bit older because your Dad's friend could well have been the next one to find himself in the lake!