Most ridiculous thing heard on the range

[AceDad]

The head of my driver hitting the concrete behind me at the range when i took my son and his friend to hit a few balls was not a soumd i wanted to hear. I let my son's friend use it cause he was thinking about starting the game, luckily it was just a 10 year old driver i just had laying around..lol

[SirMike1983]

Another good one from the practice green last week: a man and his son are at the green. The man has a 2-way chipper and reminds his son that the only way to "properly" chip is to use "this" club (and raises the 2-way chipper). The son asks about his wedge and the man says that the 2-way chipper is the "only" way to produce optimal roll.

[LUMA]

[quote name='SirMike1983' timestamp='1407727829' post='9906483']
Another good one from the practice green last week: a man and his son are at the green. The man has a 2-way chipper and reminds his son that the only way to "properly" chip is to use "this" club (and raises the 2-way chipper). The son asks about his wedge and the man says that the 2-way chipper is the "only" way to produce optimal roll.
[/quote]

$24.95 on Pinemeadowgolf.com baby.

[mattswanson49]

The one thing that grinds me more than anything on the range is when people hold their pose after a shot for way too long when the shot is way too bad.

[Krt22]

So..good shot..hold it until it lands?

[GHIN n Juice]

[quote name='Krt22' timestamp='1407772400' post='9909171']
So..good shot..hold it until it lands?
[/quote]

No, no. Good shot, hold it until the rest of the range golf claps. Then turn around so your caddie can toss you another ball.

[renatto]

Then tip your hat! And look for hot chicks

[shakey]

[quote name='mattswanson49' timestamp='1407770047' post='9908857']
The one thing that grinds me more than anything on the range is when people hold their pose after a shot for way too long when the shot is way too bad.
[/quote]
Its a cover up attempt. You hope they see the pose and not the results.

[Chief Illiniwek]

Pumped I'm not on here. Took my wife's cousin to the range a couple days ago. Brand new and wanted some pointers. I told him it was the blind leading the blind but he just wanted to get off to a decent start. Sure enough, a solid player shows up and sets up right next to us. I was sure some if my hints would be on here. I'm sure they were mostly terrible ideas.

[zackmcclure23]

[quote name='sharkiesj' timestamp='1379695865' post='7883701']Funniest thing I've heard at the range was back in the mid 80s La Costa Resort held the Mercedes Tourn of Champions and all the guys were there, Jack, Hale, Curtis etc. I was at the putting green and here comes Chi Chi Rodriguez strolling over with this ugly, rusted ol heel shafted putter with the leather grip falling off. It looked like he pulled it up from the bottom of the ocean floor after 75 years. I haven't seen a more ugly putter in all my life.

He walks by Jack and plops a few balls down and starts putting. Jack looks up and says to Chi Chi, "Hey Cheech, I love your new putter" . Without looking up Cheech says, "Hey Jack, why don't you go f**k a bear."

Jack smiled and putted 2 more balls. He turned back to look at Cheech and Cheech was looking back at Jack with the biggest smile on his face. Jack just started laughing and giggling so hard. Cheech comes walking back over to Jack and gave him a big hug. He put his arm on Jacks shoulder and started telling him all about his putter. I couldn't hear exactly what he said but you could tell Cheech really admired and respected that man.[/quote]

One of the best things I've ever read. Thank you

[LUMA]

A buddy of mine, also the head golf pro at the local club.

Giving a lesson to an older woman who actually did pretty well and hit it straight for her first lesson. Anyways, she hits her hybrid like 75-85 yards and he goes "HEY! look!? See that!? That was great! That was a lot of club head speed! Probably more than I have!"

She was buying every ounce of it and kept saying over and over "but it's hard for me!". I was cracking up so hard inside...

[zackmcclure23]

[quote name='Strömsborg' timestamp='1404594196' post='9642733'][quote name='aypeeone' timestamp='1388178716' post='8356021']
Just about a week ago a guy told his buddy that his G wedge was a grass wedge. I slightly chuckled inside then went on about my business.
[/quote]
(Bumping an old one here...)

That isn't entirely stupid.
A friend of mine uses an old Mizuno wedge stamped "F". We think it means "fairway".[/quote]


My dad's friend calls an approach wedge an "attack wedge" because he attacks pins with it. He is a 28 handicap.

[MaydayGSXR]

[quote name='zackmcclure23' timestamp='1407820804' post='9914981']
[quote name='Strömsborg' timestamp='1404594196' post='9642733'][quote name='aypeeone' timestamp='1388178716' post='8356021']
Just about a week ago a guy told his buddy that his G wedge was a grass wedge. I slightly chuckled inside then went on about my business.
[/quote]
(Bumping an old one here...)

That isn't entirely stupid.
A friend of mine uses an old Mizuno wedge stamped "F". We think it means "fairway".[/quote]


My dad's friend calls an approach wedge an "attack wedge" because he attacks pins with it. He is a 28 handicap.
[/quote]

Pretty sure TM calls their A wedge an attack wedge.

[zackmcclure23]

[quote name='Maxn007' timestamp='1406517299' post='9798839']Most ridiculous thing ever heard on the range? A likely 55 year old man answer the phone and SCREAM, "NO MOM! I DIDNT BUY THE GODDAMN (whispers) toilet paper".[/quote]

"Yes!!! Maccaroni for dinner!" One of the best things I've heard on here

[zackmcclure23]

At my local range when these 25 year old dudes were trying to be cool and it kills me to say this. Have farming contests. This guy was trying especially hard and he sharted himself. Shart= s***+ fart. In case you didn't know. He waddled to the bathroom and I've never seen them again

[audioph1x]

Local course has a decent driving range, but it's literally at the top of a ~275yd hill. The farthest flag is maybe 250 from the front of the range, and the line is usually moved up about 25yds during the week..

Every. Single. Solitary time, without fail, there's the couple guys that walk up, reach straight for the driver, and attempt to reach the "350 yard flag" while saying to each other "damn brah you're goin f****** yard! That was easily 315, 320...that new taylormade is long as s***!"

[gene_bryce]

I was on the range one time and was hitting balls next to a older guy who was listening to music and had head phones in. Every time he would hit a bad shot he would blurt out muter ***K** or other words. Now I am not a saint or anything but some little kids where around us. So finally i walked over to the guy and said something. He got pissed and went to the putting green.

[HoosierHacker89]

Someone once told my swing looks like an abortion holding a broom handle.

[Gunga Lagunga]

"God bleeess my moooother"

-The great Charles Barkley

[Krt22]

[quote name='UofU02' timestamp='1407780497' post='9910441']
[quote name='Krt22' timestamp='1407772400' post='9909171']
So..good shot..hold it until it lands?
[/quote]

No, no. Good shot, hold it until the rest of the range golf claps. Then turn around so your caddie can toss you another ball.
[/quote]

never thought to bring my caddy to the range..thanks for the tip!

[CDG1029]

Probably one of my favorite threads ever. I spent nearly all day at work going through the whole thread. Made me want to go straight to the range and just keep my eyes and ears peeled for some gems like these.

[shortstop20]

[quote name='MaydayGSXR' timestamp='1407821188' post='9914999']
[quote name='zackmcclure23' timestamp='1407820804' post='9914981']
[quote name='Strömsborg' timestamp='1404594196' post='9642733'][quote name='aypeeone' timestamp='1388178716' post='8356021']
Just about a week ago a guy told his buddy that his G wedge was a grass wedge. I slightly chuckled inside then went on about my business.
[/quote]
(Bumping an old one here...)

That isn't entirely stupid.
A friend of mine uses an old Mizuno wedge stamped "F". We think it means "fairway".[/quote]


My dad's friend calls an approach wedge an "attack wedge" because he attacks pins with it. He is a 28 handicap.
[/quote]

Pretty sure TM calls their A wedge an attack wedge.
[/quote]

Well that sounds just like TM.

[Maxn007]

[quote name='zackmcclure23' timestamp='1407823428' post='9915079']
[quote name='Maxn007' timestamp='1406517299' post='9798839']Most ridiculous thing ever heard on the range? A likely 55 year old man answer the phone and SCREAM, "NO MOM! I DIDNT BUY THE GODDAMN (whispers) toilet paper".[/quote]

"Yes!!! Maccaroni for dinner!" One of the best things I've heard on here
[/quote]

Honest to god they were talking about chicken for dinner after

[MaydayGSXR]

[quote name='Maxn007' timestamp='1407901942' post='9922151']
[quote name='zackmcclure23' timestamp='1407823428' post='9915079']
[quote name='Maxn007' timestamp='1406517299' post='9798839']Most ridiculous thing ever heard on the range? A likely 55 year old man answer the phone and SCREAM, "NO MOM! I DIDNT BUY THE GODDAMN (whispers) toilet paper".[/quote]

"Yes!!! Maccaroni for dinner!" One of the best things I've heard on here
[/quote]

Honest to god they were talking about chicken for dinner after
[/quote]

Sergio?... wait.. nope..

[zackmcclure23]

[quote name='Maxn007' timestamp='1407901942' post='9922151'][quote name='zackmcclure23' timestamp='1407823428' post='9915079']
[quote name='Maxn007' timestamp='1406517299' post='9798839']Most ridiculous thing ever heard on the range? A likely 55 year old man answer the phone and SCREAM, "NO MOM! I DIDNT BUY THE GODDAMN (whispers) toilet paper".[/quote]

"Yes!!! Maccaroni for dinner!" One of the best things I've heard on here
[/quote]

Honest to god they were talking about chicken for dinner after[/quote]

Freaking hilarious

[Sir_Shank-A-Lot]

Saw a guy at the range with a new Sun Mountain 5-four bag, new-ish Ping irons & a Big Bertha Alpha driver. I felt bad for him because the BB was obviously defective; all his drives looked like my wedge shots. Or, it could have been because his posture resembled the stance of my 2 yr old son when he has to go poo-poo.

[JasonFL]

[quote name='russad' timestamp='1379835459' post='7892081']
[quote name='triumph.man' timestamp='1379606818' post='7877649']
Fore!!!
[/quote]classic lol
[/quote]
This ^^^^

Only it was due to a driver flying 50 feet up and 5 stalls down. Luckily it missed everyone.

[SirMike1983]

We had one guy who was freewheeling on the practice range when he first started using the practice green. He had been to the range before, but as it turned out, never the practice green. He believed in error that ANY shot with a wedge was a "chip" so he proceeded to line up about 30 yards out from the green at the edge of the woods in the long grass. He did not notice someone taking practice chips had just set up between him and the green while he was walking back to the edge of the woods. First "chip" this guy makes is a frozen rope of a skull shot at about knee height that blazes just past the guy who set up. The guy turns around in horror to glare at skullman, who replies, "sorry... I am practicing chipping". The other guy immediately packed up and went to the other side of the green. After a second skull shot that carried the length of the practice green someone nearby told him that was not "chipping".

[JimNewton]

"At least your clubs aren't like mine, you know, metal. This one is at least titanium right?"

- a woman

[ABgolfer2]

Not heard but seen. I was the lead car heading up the hill from the course, speeding slightly, I see a tripod behind a car in the glow of the setting sun. Not a radar trap. Boo. Oh wait, cops don't wear short shorts or drive Subarus. As I pass the car I see a lady draped across the hood wearing next to nothing. A photo shoot in the sunset. Much better than a speeding ticket.